I'm Not the One
by mw138
Summary: Jasper lives a lonely existence, but don't feel bad for him, he wants it this way. The more he keeps people away, the easier his life will be. Can a chance meeting at a bar change all of that & heal the wounds of the past? AH/OOC
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Twilight.**

**Those who have read my other story, **_**A Love Like This**_**, may be a little surprised because this is a ****complete**** departure from that sweet story! *giggle***

_**I'm Not the One**_** was inspired by the The Black Keys' cd, **_**Brothers**_**. Check it out because it's AWESOME!**

**Rated M for swearing and lemony situations! ;-)**

**ooooooooooooo**

Another drab day in this drab city filled with drab people living their fucking drab lives. I don't know why the hell I moved here. I guess I needed a "fresh start," as the shrinks would say, and New York City seemed like a good enough place. But after being here for close to six months, I feel like I live in a fucking sewer surrounded by mindless rats, running back and forth with no real purpose. All I know is that they better not fucking bother me. I'm not the one.

xxx

I live alone.

I drink alone.

I smoke alone.

And I want to be left the fuck alone.

Fucking is the only thing I don't do by myself, but even when it's over I don't want her to stick around very long. Just gather up your stuff and be on your way, cuz I'm not gonna spoon with you or any of that other stupid shit. Oh, and thanks for the lay.

Since I'm a bartender at a pretty popular bar in Manhattan, I have pussy practically falling at my feet. All I have to do is put on the Southern charm and smile, and panties drop left and right. What am I supposed to do, deny them? Now, I don't fuck just anybody. I have my standards and I always have protection on me. You can't trust some of these women and I'm sure as fuck not gonna die over some pussy I'll forget about in a couple days.

A few women have tried to get me into a relationship in my lifetime; they tell me they love me and want to be with me, but I want none of it. I don't have time for that shit and they always end up hurt. Telling them repeatedly that I'm no good at relationships never seems to work because they just shrug it off and laugh. I've literally had to call the cops on a couple of crazies because they started stalkin' my ass. Damn! Was the dick that good? Be happy you had a good time and move the hell on.

One particularly busy night, I was working behind the bar doing body shots with a pretty hot redhead who was seriously giving me a good fuck with her eyes.

"So where do you want the salt," I asked.

She smiled a devilish grin and purred, "How about my neck?"

Inwardly I rolled my eyes, but kept a shit-eatin' grin on my face. If I do this right, I'll get a good tip and, if I play my cards right, a blowjob during my break.

"Well, darlin', you'll have to keep very still."

She licked her lips, slowly pulled her long red hair back and tilted her head to the side. I took a lemon wedge and squeezed the juice onto my fingers and lightly rubbed them onto her neck. She softly moaned and my dick started to harden. I then took the salt shaker and shook it a few times over the wet spot, making the white crystals stick perfectly to her newly exposed skin. She took another lemon wedge and placed it in her mouth, ready for me to take it with my own. I leaned in slowly, inhaling her scent and slowly licked across her neck, collecting the salt in my mouth. I quickly took a shot of tequila and followed it by grabbing the lemon wedge from her mouth creating a delicious mix of sweet, salty, and bitter.

She sighed seductively and leaned in closer as if she was going to kiss me. I jumped back quickly saying, "Whoa! What are you doing?"

"I just want to taste those delicious lips of yours."

"Uh…no thanks."

"What? Don't you like me?" she questioned, sticking out her bottom lip in a fake pout.

I shook my head and started to clear up the shot glass, used lemon wedges and salt shaker, when she grabbed my hand.

"Come on. Just a little kiss. I know you'll love my lips."

I laughed to myself and leaned in close, hearing her breath catch. "Darlin', I only want to see your lips wrapped around my dick."

Her eye grew wide with surprise, shock, wonder, who the hell knows, but I could see the wheels in her head start to turn and knew I was in trouble….the good kind.

"Well, I'm sure we can work something out," she whispered.

Part of me wanted to look at her like she was crazy, but another part of me, a much stiffer part, thought this might not be a bad thing.

I placed my hand on my chin and pretended to think. "Hmmm, my next break is in an hour and a half. Can you meet my by the restrooms?"

Her eyes seemed to dance with delight. "Sure!"

She softly kissed my cheek and said, "See you then," and walked into the crowd.

I quickly wiped her kiss off my cheek and returned my focus on my job.

The next half hour went by pretty quickly. I passed out beers, made mixed drinks, and flirted for tips. Since the music was pretty loud, I almost missed a customer who had been patiently waiting to get my attention.

"Um, excuse me," she said. "Can I get a drink?"

I turned around and walked closer so that I could hear her better.

"What?"

She leaned in even further. "What do I have to do to get a drink around here?"

"Whatever you like," I responded.

She reacted to my lame joke by rolling her eyes and chuckling to herself.

"What can I get you?"

"I'll have a Jack and Coke."

I raised my eyebrow in surprise.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing. It's just that ladies never order that sort of thing around here. They usually want the sweeter, fruity drinks."

"Well, I'm not those ladies."

"Obviously."

I quickly made her drink and set it down in front of her. She took it and slowly sipped some of the liquid. I took a step back and watched her. She was pretty petite in stature, with shoulder-length brown hair. I think she had blue eyes, but I couldn't really tell due to the dim lighting. After a few moments of staring, she turned back to me and said, "So is it always this busy in here?"

"Yeah, it gets pretty crowded, but tonight seems extra crazy. Is this your first time here?"

She nodded her head as she continued to sip from her drink. Placing it back on the bar, she reached out her hand, "I'm Alice."

I hesitantly took her hand in mine and shook it. I'm not used to women just talking to me normally like this. They're usually all too eager to climb over the bar and fuck my brains out. Alice smiled and then started laughing.

I started to get a little offended. I DON'T like people laughing at me.

"What's so funny?"

She shook her head. "Nothing, you just zoned out for a minute. Are you going to tell me your name?"

"I usually don't give out my name to customers. I get stalkers when that happens."

Out of nowhere, she threw her head back and laughed loudly. Now I was getting pissed. I narrowed my eyes at her and dared her to laugh one more time.

She must have noticed my growing annoyance because she reached out and placed her hand over mine on the bar and said, "Please don't be offended. I'm just not used to meeting guys this cocky."

Usually I would snatch my hand back with extreme quickness, but for some reason I didn't mind her touch. I immediately shook off the thought and slowly slid my hand out from under hers.

"You haven't lived here very long then."

"No. I just moved here from Washington State. I grew up in a small town, but I moved out here after accepting a new job at a PR firm here in Manhattan."

"What will you do there?"

Her eyes danced as she described her new job coordinating fashion shows and creating PR campaigns for fashion houses. I had no clue about what she was talking about, but she looked so cute. I was surprised at how freely she talked about her life. For all she knew, I could be a serial killer/predator looking for my next victim. Her naiveté intrigued me yet turned me off at the same time.

I noticed she had finished her drink and I offered her another.

"No, one is my limit. I better go find my roommate. It was nice meeting you….whoever you are!"

"Jasper. My name is Jasper."

"Well, it was nice talking to you, Jasper. Have a good night!"

I nodded and waved and before I knew it, she disappeared into the crowd.

xxx

My break was quickly approaching and I couldn't wait to go outside to smoke a cigarette. I'm not allowed to smoke in the bar, so I'm always watching the clock for the next opportunity to get a fix of nicotine, which my body constantly craves.

Just as I was about to walk outside, the redhead slithered up to me.

"I hope you didn't forget about our date," she purred.

"Actually I did," I said dismissively, trying to walk around her.

"Come on. I'll make it worth your while."

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Yeah, right. The only thing on my mind right now is smoking."

She grabbed my arm, pulling me towards her. "Smoking will be the last thing on your mind once I have you inside my mouth."

Never one to back down from a dare, I grabbed her wrist and quickly walked back to one of the vacant VIP rooms.

Unbuckling my belt buckle, I licked my lips and said, "Okay. Prove it."

In a very stripper-like manner, the redhead walked up to me and told me to make myself comfortable on one of the couches. I happily complied and watched as she began doing a striptease for me. I tried to play along for a minute or two, but I started to get bored knowing that my break was ticking away and I really needed a cigarette.

"Look, I didn't come here for a fucking lap dance. I came here for a blowjob. What the hell are you waiting for?"

"Alright, alright! Damn!"

She got down on her knees in front of me and started to slowly unzip my jeans, sliding them down until I was fully exposed. She hungrily looked down at me and licked her lips. Shit, I love it when a chick enjoys giving head. Ever so slowly, she took me into her mouth, using her tongue in the dirtiest of ways. I exhaled and dropped my head onto the back of the couch, closing my eyes and letting her get to work. I opened my eyes with a start when I no longer felt her hot mouth around my dick. Instead, she lifted up my shirt and started to kiss up my stomach, to my chest, and then my neck. Taking my head in both of her hands, she tilted me towards her so that she could lean in and kiss me. I quickly turned my head.

"I thought I told you I don't kiss."

"It doesn't hurt to try," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

Growing impatient, I looked at my watch. Ten minutes of my 20-minute break were gone.

"Are you going to suck my dick or not? I don't have time for games."

That, apparently, was all it took. She returned her mouth to my growing appendage, furiously working it with her mouth and hand. She moaned against the sensitive flesh, and my head - the one on my shoulders - once again found its place on the back of the couch.

"Do you like this, baby?"

Through gritted teeth I managed to utter, "S-stop talking."

I could feel myself getting close, so I grabbed the back of her head and guided her even farther onto my shaft. As I drew nearer to climax, an image of the girl named Alice popped into my head.

"Faster!"

The redhead bobbed up and down faster and faster as I imagined being buried deep inside sweet Alice.

"Oh fuck," I shouted as I came hard in the redhead's mouth.

I looked down to see her swallowing every last drop I shot into her mouth. After taking a moment to compose myself, I stood and zipped my pants. The redhead sat to the side, trying to be seductive by wiping her mouth of any remnants of my orgasm, but I just shook my head and laughed.

"What, that's it?" she asked, almost surprised.

"Yeah. What else is there?"

"What about me?"

"What about you?"

She sat on the floor completely dumbfounded and confused.

"Thanks for the blowjob. Sorry to break it to you, but it didn't quite make me forget about smoking. Better luck next time."

And with that I turned and headed out of the VIP room with an evil smirk on my face. These chicks come a dime a dozen in this city and I sure as hell wasn't going to engage in niceties to make her feel better about going down on a stranger in a bar. As I reached into my pocket to take out my pack of cigarettes, I couldn't help but smirk as I heard her scream from the room I had just left.

"Asshole!"

**ooooooooooooo**

***peeks head around the corner* So what did you think? **


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter was inspired by track #10 of The Black Keys' CD, Brothers, entitled **_**Sinister Kid**_**. **

**A BIG thank you to my wonderful beta, Savannah_Vee! You're the best!**

**I do not own Twilight or the characters in it.**

**Enjoy! **

**xxxx**

"Jasper, get your ass out here _now_!"

I cringed as I heard my stepfather yelling at me from the living room, and slowly walked toward the voice, dreading what was about to happen.

"What the hell took you so long, boy?"

Before I could answer, he grabbed my arm and hurled me toward the kitchen.

"Get me a beer!"

Inwardly I seethed, wanting to bash his face in with my fists, but I complied because I didn't want to deal with the repercussions of disobeying his orders.

After grabbing a cold beer from the refrigerator, I walked over to the kitchen counter and popped the tab. Glancing behind me, I made sure he wasn't watching and quickly spat into the can. For good measure, I swirled the liquid to make sure my spit was nicely mixed in.

Holding the can in front of me, I gave it to my stepfather, who immediately took a huge swig. I hid my satisfied smile – which was soon wiped off as I felt the cold liquid covering my face and seeping through my shirt. For a moment I feared he'd discovered the surprise I added to his drink. This couldn't end well.

"Dammit, boy! Can't you do anything right?"

I stared at him, dumbfounded.

"What, are you retarded or something?" he yelled.

I shook my head and answered in a quiet, yet determined voice, "No."

"You gotta be retarded. You can't even bring me a beer that's cold enough to drink. Stupid bastard."

Before I even knew what I was doing, words started flying out of my mouth.

"Well, if you would help mom out a little bit, maybe we could get a better refrigerator to keep your beers cold! I'd rather be retarded than lazy!"

As soon as the words left my lips I knew I was in serious trouble. My stepfather's ice-cold eyes glared at me. I glared back. We were having a pretty good staring contest until I felt a hard, yet familiar, slap across my face. The force of the blow knocked me off balance and I fell to the floor.

"What did you say, you little shit?"

Afraid to even breathe, I just sat there in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"You have no idea what I do! And don't you _ever_ talk back to me again, or I'll make you wish you were never born!"

I was already there. I had no idea why I had been born into this hellhole of a life; living in a trailer with my drug addicted mother and her abusive husband. I was only 11 years old. I should have been riding my bike and climbing trees. Instead, I was lying on the floor, scared to move, while my lazy, good-for-nothing stepfather berated me and treated me like the shit at the bottom of his shoes.

I wanted to fight back, but I was too small to do any real damage. With as much courage as I could muster, I said under my breath, "I already do."

That did it. My stepfather flew into a rage, picking me up and slamming me against the wall. My stomach turned as he moved extremely close to my face, so close that I could smell stale beer on his breath.

"Believe me, you little bastard, I wish the same thing. If your damned mother hadn't been out turning tricks for drugs, your dumbass wouldn't be here."

The sting of his words brought tears to my eyes. I knew my mom had problems, but I had no clue she was selling her body as well. How could I? I was just a little boy. I flailed my arms, trying to hit the sorry excuse for a man.

"Take it back!" I screamed. "Take it back! You're lying!"

He laughed a bitter, sarcastic laugh.

"Hurts to know the truth, huh? I bet she even considered aborting you, but for some unknown reason, she wanted to keep your sorry ass."

Shaking and overcome with immense anger, I spit in his face. My stepfather slowly wiped the saliva from his cheek, balled his fist and hit me with such force I thought for sure I was dead. My insides rattled and my head rang as I fell to the floor.

"You'll never amount to anything! You're just the bastard son of a whore!"

His boot connected with my ribs and I experienced the most excruciating pain of my life. I cried out as tears streamed down my face. I couldn't breathe, my head hurt, and I just wanted it all to end. I heard the door slam shut as he left me in a heap on the floor, probably hoping I'd do him the favor and die. Part of me wanted to give him what he wanted. Instead I just lay there, struggling to breathe and thinking of the day when I would finally get away from him….and away from this shitty existence.

xxxx

I took a long drag of my cigarette and chased it with a swig of whiskey straight from the bottle. I hated when I thought about my past; not just because it was so terrible, but because I'd tried everything in my power to move past it and suppress the sickening memories. My mother was no saint, but the few times she was coherent and sober, she was pretty loving. I relished those moments because, for a short amount of time, I felt like a regular kid, not the scared child who dreaded going home because he wasn't sure if he'd be greeted with a fist from his stepfather or the sight of his mother half dead on the couch.

I squeezed my eyes closed and took another swig of the amber liquid. If I drank enough of this shit, I'd hopefully just black out and rid my brain of the painful memories.

After drinking nearly half the bottle, my eyes finally closed and my mind became free of all the hurt, abuse, and chaos.

xxxx

_Boom, boom, boom!_

My eyes cracked open slightly to the sound of pounding. I wasn't sure if it was in my head or if it was actually the door.

_Boom, boom, boom!_

"Jasper! You in there?"

I groaned and opened my eyes fully.

_Who the fuck is knocking at my door?_

"Jasper, I know you're in there!"

"Fuck!"

Rubbing my hands over my face, I stood and staggered over to the door. I could still feel the effects of the whiskey on my body as I swayed back and forth, trying to regain my balance. When I finally reached the door, I opened it as wide as it could go before the chain caught it.

"What do you want, Masen?"

"Open the door, Jasper."

"It is open, fucker. Why are you waking me up at this ungodly hour?"

"Ungodly hour? It's fucking 1:30 in the afternoon, dumbass!"

I looked back at my clock to see that the time of day wasn't so ungodly after all.

"What do you want, Ed?"

I watched with glee as he narrowed his eyes at me. He hated being called Ed and I loved pushing his buttons.

"Open the door for me, Jazzy, and I'll let you know."

Giving him the finger, I shut the door in his face, unhooked the chain and swung it back open, walking over to the kitchen for some rehydration. My mouth felt like the Sahara.

"What the fuck have you been doing?"

I just stared at Edward, while guzzling an entire bottle of water and then throwing it in the trash.

"I was sleeping. What the hell do you think I was doing?"

Edward walked over to my coffee table, lifted up the half-emptied bottle of Jack and looked back at me.

"I can see what you were doing."

Growing impatient, I sat down on the couch and flipped on the TV.

"Again, what the fuck do you want?"

He sat down on the other end of the couch and spoke after what seemed like an eternity.

"Wanna go out tonight?"

I gave him a sideways glance and laughed.

"Are you asking me out on a date or something?"

"No, dumbass. There's a party downtown at an acquaintance's house and I thought you might like to join the living and attend."

"You know I don't do parties, Edward. They're just full of stuck up people trying to act like something they're not."

"Spare me the angst, Jasper," Edward said, rolling his eyes. "It's just a dumb party. Just regular people getting together to drink and talk. You can handle that, right?"

"Whatever," I said with a sigh.

"Great. I'll be back around seven," he said, letting himself out the front door.

"Yeah, yeah."

I guess you could say Edward was the closest thing I had to a friend. Even though I'd have preferred being by myself, because most people are dumb fuckers, he was tolerable. He lived two doors down and when I first moved in, I ignored him for the most part since people generally piss me off. But we ran into each other at a bar and struck up a conversation about guitars and motorcycles. Ever since then, we'd occasionally have a beer or a few shots. The best thing about him, in my opinion, was that he could be as big of an asshole as I was. One night, I watched him flirt with a chick all night just to get free drinks out of her. At the end of the night, when she was ready to take him home and fuck him silly, he turned to her and said, "Not tonight. I have to get home to my wife." I nearly pissed my pants from laughter. The chick walked off in a huff, but I couldn't help but give him props. Women seemed to flock to him because they liked his "soulful eyes" and "sex hair," but he usually brushed them off.

While trying to find something to eat, I thought back to a conversation Edward and I had a couple of weeks ago…

"I'm not looking for a one-night stand," he said to me, nursing his beer.

"What?"

"One-night stands are overrated. I'm looking for a decent girl to settle down with."

"Are you fucking out of your mind? There's no such thing as 'the one,' Edward. You're fooling yourself."

"Nah, you're wrong."

"No, I'm realistic. Look around! There's a sea of pussy out there and you're going to let it all go to waste because of some fairytale?"

Edward shook his head and looked at me like I was a pitiful dog found by the side of the road.

"Have you ever been in love?"

"Shit, Edward. I don't want to have this conversation."

"Oh come on! Stop being a pussy and just answer the damned question."

"Alright, fine. No, I've never been in fuckin' love before. Frankly, I don't want to be."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because it's too much of a fuckin' hassle. You constantly have to baby the other person and in the end, both parties are disappointed because neither ends up being what the other needs. Why torture yourself like that?"

"Man, you're so jaded it's ridiculous."

"Oh well, Mr. I-Know-Everything-About-Love, please enlighten me."

"Listen, fucker, love can be all daisies and rainbows and shit. It can also be a complete bitch and make you want to curl up in a ball and cry like a baby, but that's not my point. When you meet a woman who makes you want to be a better person; who loves you for the person you are, good or bad, that's love."

"Yeah, well don't expect it to happen to me. I'm too far gone for any woman to see past all my shit. I'll just settle for some good head and a good fuck every now and then."

"I'm not knocking your decision, but believe me when I say that love___is_ all that it's cracked up to be.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, Edward. Wait! Where the hell did this come from? I thought you were a love 'em & leave 'em kind of guy. You're a dick!"

Edward silently laughed to himself while staring down at his beer bottle on the table. "Like I said, Jasper, one-night stands are highly overrated. I don't give two fucks about these women who throw themselves at anyone with a dick. I'm through with all that and I want the real deal now."

"So you're going to be celibate?"

"Hell no," he exclaimed. "Just because I'm looking for a decent girl, doesn't mean I'll say no to a quickie or some brain every once in a while."

Edward winked as I sat back and laughed. There was no way in hell I would ever end up like him. Loving them and leaving them suited me just fine.

xxxx

My uneventful day went by pretty quickly and before I knew it, Edward was pounding on my door once again.

"You better be ready to go, fucker, and not passed out on the couch!"

I opened the door rather quickly, startling Edward a little. "I'm up, asswipe, and stop screaming outside my fuckin' door! Damn!"

"Well, what the fuck are you waiting for? Let's go."

Two trains later, Edward and I were standing outside of his acquaintance's apartment, knocking on the door. I could hear and feel the thump of the bass from where I was standing and immediately wanted to walk away. I wasn't in the mood to sit in a small New York City apartment with the music so loud I could barely hear myself think.

I turned my head toward Edward and asked, "How do you know these people?"

"The person throwing the party makes my coffee every morning."

I took a deep breath as I felt my temper flaring. "What the fuck, Edward? You dragged me to your barista's house party?"

"Shut up, Jasper. Take the stick out of your ass and try to have a little fun. I know it's hard for you, but try."

Before I could respond, the door swung open. Standing before me was a huge guy with dark hair and even darker eyes. He had to be at least 6'6" or 6'7" and looked like he could be a boxer. One might have been intimidated by his size, but his big toothy grin took all of that fear away.

"Edward! Glad you made it," the giant said, shaking Edward's hand.

"No problem, Jake. This is my friend, Jasper."

"Cool. Thanks for coming out, Jasper."

Jake extended his nine-foot arm and shook my hand…hard.

"Thanks for having me," I responded.

"Help yourselves to the food & drinks in the kitchen. I'll catch up with you later."

I tapped Edward on the arm and said, "That's your barista? I was expecting some mousy looking girl."

Edward laughed. "Yeah, that's him. He scared the shit out of me when I first walked into the coffee shop and saw him standing there. I thought he was security, but then I figured a coffee shop wouldn't need that. He does make a mean latte."

"Yeah, and he has a mean handshake. I think he broke a couple of bones when he shook my hand." 

Edward laughed even harder. "He's a big softy. He helps little old ladies with their orders and even acts as a human jungle gym for the kids who come into the shop."

"That's nice," I said sarcastically.

Edward rolled his eyes and pushed me in the direction of the kitchen.

"Come on, smartass, let's get something to drink."

As we entered the kitchen we saw the obligatory red cups ready to be filled with various brands of beer or liquor. I decided on a beer while Edward made a Long Island. Once we had our drinks, Edward turned to me and said, "I'm going to go talk to Jake. Will you be okay? I know you don't like people."

I silently gave him the middle finger and walked away, hearing his laughter in the background.

Edward was right. I don't like people and I sure as hell didn't want to talk to any of these assholes. I decided to just do some people watching to pass the time, so I found a seat and made myself comfortable. I could see Edward talking to Jake and another girl, who I assumed to be Jake's girlfriend. The way he was holding on to her, as if telling the rest of the dicks in the room that this girl was his, gave it away. I watched people dancing, drinking, talking, fighting, making out….and then my stomach dropped to my feet. Coming towards me was the fuckin' redhead I jilted at the bar last week."

"Shit," I said to myself.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the asshole who left me hanging last week."

I put on my best smile and bowed. "In the flesh."

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked like she was about to start pouting. "You do know that what you did was wrong, right?"

I gave her my best "bitch, please" look and continued scanning the crowd. Annoyed by my lack of interest, she stood directly in front of me, blocking much of my view of the rest of the party.

"How are you going to make it up to me?" she asked in her best seductive voice.

I tried not to laugh in her face as I said, "By not doing a damned thing."

Her eyes narrowed and I thought I heard her huff like a petulant child.

"Look, you owe me!"

"The fuck I do! What could I possible owe _you_?"

"An orgasm."

I couldn't contain my laughter any longer as I threw my head back and laughed as hard as I could. It's a good thing the music was so loud because I know some of the partygoers would have thought I was crazy.

"You seriously think I'm just going to take you back into the bedroom and fuck your brains out just because you think I owe you something? Ha!"

"It's only fair."

"It's only fair that you walk away with what little dignity you have."

Looking as though she wanted to pull her hair out from anger, she stomped away from me. Relieved, I continued to watch various people doing mundane shit. Out of nowhere, I felt cold liquid splash against my face and down my shirt. I literally froze, having a flashback to my stepfather throwing beer in my face. I heard someone in the background go, "Oooooh," and I was brought out of my daze. The redhead was stood right in front of me with a satisfied smirk on her face. I was ready to explode. I would _never___hit a woman, but this one was seriously trying me.

Before I could lash out, I felt a soft touch on my arm. I whipped my head around and saw that familiar, innocent smile.

"Just walk away, Jasper," she said quietly.

I nodded my head and followed her as she led me to the kitchen. I kept my eyes on her because I knew if I looked back at that redhead bitch, I would go off and show everyone what crazy truly looked like.

When we reached the kitchen, I leaned against the counter and surveyed the damage. I'd live, it was only a t-shirt, but now I had to go through the rest of the night smelling like a brewery.

My savior stood in front of me and started to giggle….yet again.

"Am I that funny that you feel the need to laugh at me every time I see you?"

"Oh, don't get your panties in a bunch, Jasper. I just didn't want you to get thrown in jail because a skank wouldn't leave you alone."

"Well…thanks for getting me out of there," I said, in a surprisingly shy manner.

"It's nothing. Just make sure you don't piss off any more women. You're lucky she was tame. There are some who would cut you for a lot less."

"Cut me," I said with a snort.

"Yeah, or use their super stealth ninja skills to bring you down with one touch."

I laughed when Alice did her best ninja impersonation filled with weird kung fu moves and sounds.

"There. I made you laugh. You know, you're much more handsome when you smile. Every time I see you, you're scowling."

She lightly feathered her hands over my face as she said, "Be careful, Jasper. We don't want this pretty face to get wrinkles."

I was about to say something smart in return, but she quickly turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me with the comforting memory of her touch on my face.

**xxxx**

**Thank you to everyone for writing such great reviews! I'm so glad you're enjoying this story!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I do not own Twilight. :(**

**Sorry it's taken a while to update, but I should be able to get back on a more regular schedule now.**

**Enjoy! **

Still feeling the warmth of Alice's touch on my face, I quickly ran out of the kitchen to find her. Almost frantically, I scanned the room looking for her before I spotted her talking to someone. My feet started moving, but I immediately stopped myself.

_Jasper, what the fuck are you doing? You know she could never be interested in you. You're too damaged and screwed up._

I shook my head, trying to shut my mind up. As I looked back up, I saw a pair of gray eyes looking right at me. Startled, I looked away, trying to find something or someone else to focus on. It didn't work because I found myself slowly looking in Alice's direction again. She was sitting on the couch, talking and laughing with whom, I assumed, was a friend of hers. As I watched her interact so freely, I began to envy her. I envied her ability to not only talk to people, but be friends with them. I envied the way she could laugh and joke around without malice or ill intentions. Most of all I envied her life, which was crazy because I didn't even really know her.

But I doubt that she grew up in a household where her father abused her and her mom was a drug addict and prostitute. She probably received a ton of gifts at Christmas and a party for each of her birthdays. Those happy memories, the ones _normal_ people take for granted, were far and few between for me.

My heart started pounding in my chest as I recalled more and more memories from my childhood.

_How the hell could they do that to me? How could they do that a fucking kid?_

I began to tremble as anger and pain washed over me. I knew I had to get out of there or else I'd go off on some innocent bystander who just happened to ask me for a light or some stupid shit like that. I willed my feet to move, to take me as far away from this party and all of the people in it as fast as possible, but they just wouldn't work like I wanted them to. Just as I was about to take my first step, I felt that familiar warmth once again.

"Jasper? Are you okay?"

I was in a daze. I could hear her speaking but I couldn't make myself talk. I just looked at her.

"Sweetie, you're starting to scare me. Did you drink too much? Did you take something?"

Finally, I found my voice.

"No," I croaked.

"You look so…so disturbed. I saw you looking over my way and then it's like you went into a trance. You just stood here as if someone scared you."

I shook my head again. "No. I'm fine."

"But…you're shaking."

"Look, Alice, I'm fine!"

She jumped back for a second and her eyes widened. However, she never removed her warm touch from my arm.

_Please don't let go of me._

As if reading my mind, Alice started to gently rub my forearm. I squeezed my eyes shut, concentrating on the feel of her soothing touch. I know I looked like a mental case. Here I was, freaking out in the middle of party for seemingly no good reason at all.

I let out a cleansing exhale and looked down at this woman who was quickly becoming my rescuer.

"Thanks," I whispered.

Alice smiled up at me and I could almost feel that block of ice I call my heart, thawing, but only slightly. Her hand slid down my forearm and down to my hand where she interlaced our fingers and started leading me away. My feet felt like lead, but I blindly followed her.

We walked into a vacant room in the house. I think it was an office, but it was quiet and I could gather my thoughts there. We sat down on a loveseat nestled in the corner of the room. I looked down at my hands, silently praying to Jesus, Buddha, Mother Earth, and whoever else would listen, that Alice would not ask me what my freak out was about. I could feel her eyes as she watched me. Maybe she thought I would spontaneously combust and wanted to catch the sight so she could laugh at me some more.

"Jasper, what was going on out there?"

_Fuck my life._

I slowly lifted my eyes to meet hers and had to look down again. If I looked into her eyes, I would spill everything and I sure as hell wasn't going to reveal that shit to anyone.

"Nothing."

"Come on! You can't lie to me. You looked like you were having an anxiety attack and –"

"Alice! It was nothing. I'm fine now."

She stared at me with such sadness, confusion, and disappointment in her eyes. She knew I was lying, but I couldn't bring myself to lay this shit on her or anyone else. Besides, why did I care so much about how she viewed me? My mind raced as I tried to come up with some sort of excuse for my behavior.

"It's okay, Jasper. You don't have to tell me. I just hope you're alright."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I manage."

"Does managing work for you?"

"I get by."

I looked down at my hands again. They were still shaking, even in Alice's grasp. I knew she was seeing right through my bullshit.

"You can talk to me. I won't tell anyone what you say."

I rolled my eyes.

"But you'll laugh at me," I said quietly.

"Jasper, that's not fair. I would never laugh at you for revealing what's causing you so much….pain."

Anger began to rise through my body. Anger at myself for lying to Alice; anger at my parents for my fucked up childhood, and anger for that little boy who never felt loved. I didn't think it was possible but my hands were shaking even harder, and my whole body began to tremble as well.

"Jasper, please tell me what's wrong."

I quickly looked back up at Alice and shouted, "You want to know what the hell is wrong with me? How about the fact that I'm the most fucked up person known to man, because my step father kicked my ass every chance he got? How about the fact that my mom fucked anyone who would give her money or her next hit? Or the fact that the thought of trusting anyone makes me literally sick to my stomach?"

I stood and started pacing, needing to burn off this crazy energy my body had stored. My breathing was ragged and I could feel moisture begin to pool in my eyes. I wiped them quickly. Alice just sat frozen in her seat and watched.

"I hate that I've never had one real fucking friend my entire life! I hate the fact that I've never celebrated Christmas or my birthday or, fuck, even had a real Thanksgiving dinner! Don't look at me and think you can help me because I'm a lost cause, Darlin'. You better run and run fast because the more time you spend with me, the more I'll bring you down. Misery loves company, right?"

My body was literally buzzing now. It felt good to get all of that out for once, but I didn't really feel better. Alice slowly got off the loveseat and stood in front of me. We both stared at each other for what seemed like forever, and then she did something that I didn't expect; something I always wished my mother would do. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me close. My entire frame stiffened but slowly relaxed beneath her touch. Awkwardly, I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her even closer. Not one word or sound was made as she held me.

Time stood still as Alice tried her best to help me in some capacity. I expected her to give me some bullshit motivational speech about how I can overcome my past and that the future is full of opportunity, but she did one of the simplest things one person can do for another; the one thing I needed most. I can't remember the last time someone hugged me. I mean _really_ hugged me. Hooking up with women here or there didn't count because that was just fucking. There was no emotion, at least for me, in those instances.

When Alice let go, I felt a profound sense of loss. Losing that human contact was almost painful. I had been without it for so long that I didn't want it to end. She pulled me back to the loveseat and took one of my hands in both of hers. As I looked into her eyes I noticed tears beginning to well in their gray depths. I sat glued to my spot. I didn't know how to react to her emotion, so I just watched her and hoped she would stop.

"Oh, Jasper. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that."

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "It's no big deal. I'm used to it."

"It _is_ a big deal," she said with force. "No one should have to endure such horrible things, especially a child."

"Well, I guess I'm just not one of the lucky ones."

Tears began to fall down her cheeks. Without thinking, I grazed my thumbs over them to brush the tears away.

"Hey," I said softly. "There's no reason for you to shed tears over me."

"I know," she said, sniffling. "I'm just sad for you."

My heart sank. "Look, I didn't mean to make you feel bad." I looked behind me at the door. "I should just go."

I stood up, exhaled, and stretched, trying to release the immense tension buried in my shoulders. I went to turn around and say goodbye to Alice when she jumped up from the loveseat and wrapped her arms around my neck. My mind and some other foreign feeling were at war with one another. Part of me wanted to push her away, but this new feeling told me to hold her and not let go. I decided to meet my feelings halfway and clumsily wrapped my arms around her waist. She was so warm and soft…

I pulled back and cupped my hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes. Something about Alice made me forget about my fucked up past and made me feel like a regular human being. I watched as her tongue slowly wet her lips. I leaned forward and gently pressed my lips to hers. A jolt of electricity seemed to surge through my body and I pulled her body flush against mine. A moan escaped Alice's sweet mouth as we deepened our kiss, my lips and tongue seeking the solace I'd been missing all my life. I felt myself losing control and feeling things that I wasn't used to feeling. Without warning, I jumped back and broke our kiss.

"Oh fuck," I gasped.

Alice continued her hold on me, both literally and figuratively.

"Alice," I half moaned and whispered. "I…I gotta go."

"Oh, okay." She couldn't hide the disappointment in her voice.

"Shit! I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Fuck! I'm so sorry!"

I quickly backed away from her and practically ran for the door, nearly tripping on my way out. I didn't even bother looking for Edward. I just called a cab and went straight home.

_What the fuck was I thinking?_

As soon as I stepped into my apartment, I slammed the door behind me, threw my keys on the table and headed straight for the bottle of whiskey. I took a long swig and winced as the strong amber liquid burned my throat. I then walked into my bathroom, opened the cabinet, and popped a couple Xanax into my mouth, chasing it with another swig of whiskey. Technically, I wasn't supposed to drink while taking these pills, but I didn't give a shit. I needed whatever it took to clear my mind.

Tonight was one hell of rollercoaster ride, but as my eyes drifted closed I remembered the feel of Alice's arms wrapped around my neck and her lips pressed against mine. Instantaneously, I hardened. My entire body started to tingle form the combination of the Xanax, whiskey, and Alice. I laid back on my bed and closed my eyes as I unbuttoned my jeans and slid my hand beneath my boxers.

"Mmm, Alice…" I moaned.

The next morning I woke up to my phone vibrating on my nightstand. I squinted my eyes and tried to focus on the small screen.

"This better be good, motherfucker," I answered.

"What the fuck happened to you last night?"

"Calm the fuck down. I just had to get out of there."

"What happened with you and Alice?" Edward asked, and I could hear the grin in his voice. "I saw you two sneak off and thought you were back there knockin' boots!"

"Knockin' boots? What year is this, Edward? 1995?"

"Fuck you, Jasper. You know what I mean."

"No, I didn't fuck her. Nothing happened."

"Really? So why did she ask me for your phone number?"

I sat up straight. "What? Did you give it to her?"

"Well…"

"Dammit, Edward!"

"Chill out, man. She seems like a nice girl and she may do you some good."

"Fine. Whatever."

"I'll catch up with you later. You want to go play pool or something this weekend?"

"Edward, I think you're falling for me," I said with a snort.

"Shut the fuck up," he countered. "We both know the _real_ reason I'm the only person you hang out with."

We both laughed.

"Yeah, I guess we can meet up this weekend."

"Alright, talk to you later, fucker."

"Bye, asswipe."

**So what do you think? :D Your reviews always make me smile!**

**Extra special thanks to my AWESOME beta, Savannah_Vee! You're the best!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I do not own Twilight.**

**So the last couple of chapters have been pretty heavy, so I decided to lighten this chapter up just a bit. :) I've received quite a few reviews stating that they love the dynamic between Jasper and Edward. You have no idea how happy that makes me! It's so fun writing their conversations and Edward will continue to be a fixture in Jasper's life…whether he wants it or not! LOL**

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

The next couple of days went by pretty quickly and before I knew it, I was standing in a dark pool hall playing my second game of pool with Edward. I watched him take his shot and cursed under my breath as I watched another ball disappear into the pocket. The last 48 hours seemed like a daze to me. One minute I was fine and the next I was popping another Xanax into my mouth. Part of me wondered if I really needed them, or if my mind was tricking me into thinking they were necessary. Either way, I didn't give a fuck. Those little orange pills always worked their magic and effectively numbed me. I could still function, but I felt like I had a thin (albeit false) veil of protection from the bullshit of the world.

I hadn't heard anything from Alice either, not that I necessarily expected to. I figured my issues were just too much and had most likely scared her off. It's wasn't like I could have a relationship with her anyway. I suck at that sort of shit, and she'd only be in for a world full of hurt. I'm incapable of caring for another human being. There's been way too much disappointment in my life, so keeping everyone at a distance is for the best.

Edward took another shot and smirked to himself. He knew I couldn't play worth a damn, but doing this got me out of the house and out of my head…sort of.

"So, have you heard from Alice yet?" Edward asked, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Uh...no."

I thought I heard Edward laugh to himself, but I ignored him.

"I never expected her to anyway."

"Why the hell not?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Look, man," Edward said. "I know you're not the friendliest guy out there, but I thought you two kind of…I don't know, liked each other."

"Liked each other?" I raised an eyebrow. "I've only spoken to her maybe three times."

"Yeah, but I could tell by the way you looked at her that there was something there."

I shook my head incredulously, both eyebrows raised.

"Let me get this straight, Edward, you're not only borderline in love with me, you're stalking me as well? What, are you hiding behind doors and bushes? Did you place a bug on me so that you could listen to my conversations?"

"Suck my dick, asshole. I'm trying to be serious for once."

I laid my pool cue down on the pool table and walked over to a table to sit down. I was through with this game. I couldn't win it anyway. Edward followed and sat across from me.

After a few moments of silence, I said, "Well, the other night, at that party, I told her about my childhood."

Edward frowned.

"What _about_ your childhood?"

Now, I still didn't consider Edward a friend, but he was cool enough and was the closest thing I had to one. Obviously I hadn't said anything to him about how I grew up. He probably just thought I was a natural born asshole and left it at that.

"I didn't have the best childhood. I basically raised myself."

Edward stared at me as if silently telling me to continue.

"I don't want to get into any details, but my mom was an addict and my step-father beat me."

"Shit, man, I'm sorry. I had no idea –"

"It's no big deal," I interrupted. "I'm alright now…for the most part."

"You're not a cutter or anything, are you?" Edward asked, looking freaked out.

"Fuck no! I take Xanax every now and then, but that's all. I have panic attacks sometimes and the pills seem to help."

"So that's why you're such a prick to everyone, huh?"

I smirked at Edward's bluntness.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Well, if you ever need anything, man, I'm here, you know, since you're my friend and all."

_Friend? Someone actually considers me to be their friend? _

"Thanks."

I quickly changed the subject because I started to feel uncomfortable with all the friend-talk.

"Did you hook up with anyone the other night?" I asked.

Edward shook his head, but had a goofy grin plastered across his face.

"What the hell? I know something happened. You look like a high school girl who got fingered by the captain of the football team."

"Whatever," Edward said, chuckling to himself.

"Come on! I know you got some! Admit it!"

"I didn't! But I did meet someone."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah, she's really sweet, and kind of shy. The total opposite of all the chicks I've been with in the past."

"But you didn't hit that?"

Edward's eyes widened as if I'd suggested he fuck his great-grandmother.

"No, I didn't, 'hit that'. She's…special."

"Special."

"Yes, motherfucker, she's special. She's not like the others and I don't want to fuck this up."

"Well, friend…" I said, slapping him on the shoulder, "I hope to meet this miracle woman one day so I can tell her what a bastard you are. Someone needs to warn this poor girl."

Edward took a drink and laughed.

"Shut the fuck up!"

As the two of us were joking around with one another, I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket, signaling I had a text message. I looked at my phone and my heart stopped. I stared at the screen in disbelief.

"Jasper, what is it?" Edward asked.

I turned my phone towards him to show him the message.

_Hey Jasper!_

_I hope you're doing okay. I've been worrying about you since the other night. Your friend, Edward, gave me you cell number. I hope you don't mind. Um, if you ever want to have coffee or a drink or anything, just give me a ring._

_Alice :)_

"Well, well, well," Edward exclaimed.

"What?"

I know I looked like a complete dumbass because I didn't know what to do or how to react. I set my phone down on the table and backed away from it as though it had some sort of disease.

"Are you going to respond?"

"What the fuck should I say?"

"I don't know, tell her you want to hump her leg. What do you think? Ask her out for coffee and see how it goes."

I shook my head.

"No. This is so stupid. Why am I acting so damned scared?"

Edward barked with laughter. "You fucking got me! Stop acting like a pussy and just text her back."

"I will! I'll do it later."

"Alright, but you better do it."

"Fuck, I will, mom!"

Shaking his head, Edward mumbled, "You are such a pussy."

I ignored him and continued to stare at sweet Alice's message.

_x-x-x-x-x-x-x_

When I got home, I pulled out my cell phone again and read Alice's message for the hundredth time. When did I become a thirteen-year-old girl? Alice was just a nice person I'd talked to a few times…and kissed. Shit, her lips were like nothing I had ever experienced before. I had kissed plenty of women, but with Alice it was so much better.

I sighed and plopped down on the couch. There wasn't much on TV so I settled for watching some crazy show about 1,000 Ways to Die. I don't know why I watched this shit, but it was pretty interesting. As I watched a story about a man laughing himself to death, my eyes became heavy.

_o-o-o-o-o-o-o_

"Hello, Jasper," the man standing in front of me said. He held out his hand for me to shake and I just stared at him.

_I don't know who you are and I don't like you._

"My name is Charlie Swan and this is my wife, Renee. We hope you'll be happy here."

I looked over at the petite woman standing next to Charlie and nodded. She smiled warmly, but I quickly looked away because I felt uncomfortable. I was fourteen-years-old and CPS swooped in and removed me from my own personal hell and set me up in a foster home. Part of me was relieved because I no longer had to deal with my step-father and poor excuse of a mother, who was now so deep into her addiction that she resembled a zombie. I heard that she OD'ed a couple times. The house was always a mess; there was never food in the refrigerator; and neither of them were home very often, which suited me just fine when it came to my step-father. I ended up staying at the homes of classmates who took pity on me. I think one of their moms reported my "parents" to CPS and that's how I ended up here with these strangers.

Charlie and Renee took me on a tour of the house and pointed out all of the necessary areas: kitchen, living room, bathroom, and my bedroom.

"Jasper, dinner will be ready around five o'clock, so you can hang out in here in your room, or you can come down to the living room, if you like. Charlie said there's going to be a football game on TV."

I looked at Renee as if she had four heads coming out of her neck. I had never been given choices. Usually someone would tell me to go somewhere and keep fucking quiet.

"Um, I guess I'll come downstairs and watch the game," I said quietly.

Renee placed her hand on my shoulder. "Good! Let's go!"

While we ate dinner, both Charlie and Renee tried to make conversation with me. I never had much to say, so I only spoke when they asked me questions. After talking about where I would be going to school, sports I enjoyed, and a possible family vacation the next summer, I spoke up.

"So why don't you two have your own children?"

Renee and Charlie looked at each other and then at me.

"Well," Charlie started, "we tried, but…"

"But for whatever reason, we couldn't have a child of our own," Renee finished. "That's why we're so glad that you've come to stay with us."

"Are you going to adopt me or something?"

"If everything goes well, we'd love to, Jasper," Charlie said with a huge smile.

I didn't want to get my hopes up, but these two were the most normal, stable people I'd ever encountered. I didn't know how I got lucky enough to be there, but I decided right then and there I wouldn't mess it up. I smiled at them for the first time and heard their sighs of relief. I could feel the relief within myself as well. For once I was going to have a normal life with normal people and do normal things. Little did I know that things were only going to get worse…

_o-o-o-o-o-o-o_

My eyes jolted open and I looked around, trying to get my bearings. My TV was still on and I could hear some random person telling me how essential colon cleansing was. I turned off the TV and noticed it was almost six o'clock in the morning. I didn't even bother to take the short walk to my bedroom. I just lay down on the couch and went back to sleep.

A few hours later, I was up and making some toast when I heard my cell phone vibrating once again. I picked it up and saw that Edward had texted me. I sighed and read the message.

"_Morning, fucker! Did you text Alice last night?"_

"_Dammit! Leave me alone, Edward."_

He responded almost immediately.

"_You didn't do it, did you?"_

I sighed and typed.

"_No, not yet. Can I at least eat breakfast before I text her? She may not even be awake yet."_

I thought he had given up, since I didn't receive a response right away. I was wrong.

"_Um, have you looked at the clock? It's nearly 10 a.m. You're the only one who thinks it's early, dumbass."_

"_Fuck you. I told you I was going to text her and I will. Now get off my back."_

"_Alright. Alright. Just DO IT!"_

I set my phone down on the table without bothering to respond. After I had eaten my breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen a bit, I finally picked my phone back up and read Alice's message once again. I had practically memorized by now. I quickly hit "reply" and looked at the blank screen.

_Alice,_

_Yes, I'm okay. No need to worry about me. I don't have to work until 8 tonight, so if you want to have coffee or whatever, just let me know._

_Jasper_

Before I could change my mind, I hit send and waited. And waited. And waited. Twenty minutes came and went, so I decided to hop in the shower. After I got dressed, I saw the little red light on my phone signaling I had a message. I pulled up the screen and saw that Alice had responded. My heart raced and I rushed to open the message.

_Jasper!_

_I'm so glad to hear from you! I have to work until 5, but how about we meet at Café Prague at 5:30. It's at 2 west 19__th__ street right off of 5th. We can also grab something to eat there if you're hungry. Let me know!_

_Alice :)_

I felt like I had opened the best gift ever and was practically giddy with excitement. I quickly responded.

_Alice,_

_I'll meet you there at 5:30._

_Jasper_

I hit send and tried to figure out what I would do for the next six and a half hours. I didn't realize it, but I was still holding my phone and nearly jumped out of skin when it vibrated again. I held it up and read the message.

_Great! See you then!_

_Alice :) _

After I read Alice's short message three more times, I looked up and caught a sight I hadn't seen in what seemed like forever…me, in the hallway mirror, smiling.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

**Next up, coffee with Jasper and Alice! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I do not own Twilight.**

**Thanks again to my wonderful beta, Savannah-Vee! **

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I walked into the small café at exactly 5:30 p.m. The place couldn't have been much larger than an office, so it wasn't hard to scan the few customers who were already there. My heart dropped for a split second when I didn't see Alice, so I nervously sat down at a table and waited. That same familiar feeling of disappointment started to creep into my system and I unconsciously began to bite my nails.

_o-o-o-o-o-o-o_

While doing my homework one evening, I heard Charlie talking frantically on the phone. This startled me because out of the six months that I had been living with the Swans, he was always so laid back. I walked down the steps just as he hung up the phone and my stomach flipped when I saw the blank, distant look on his face.

"Jasper," he said with a shaky voice.

"What's wrong, Charlie?"

"We need to go to the hospital."

My breathing and heart rate increased. "Why?"

"It's Renee. She's been in an accident."

"Oh my God."

The two of us quickly jumped into Charlie's truck and sped over the hospital. When we arrived, Charlie spoke to someone at the front desk and identified himself. The nurse told him to go to the emergency room where another nurse would give him more details. Charlie held out his arm, silently leading me to where we needed to be...with Renee.

When we arrived at the emergency room, the nurse informed us that two visitors were allowed with the patient and asked for our names so she could enter them into the computer. I looked around anxiously because I didn't have a good feeling about the whole situation.

"I'm Charlie Swan, Renee's husband, and this is Jasper, our son."

I thought I misunderstood him for a second. He actually called me his son. My eyes started to tear up, but I didn't have time to relish the moment because were we being rushed back to see Renee. When we entered the small room, my breathing nearly came to a halt when I saw Renee lying in the bed with what seemed like hundreds of tubes coming out of her.

I slowly walked closer and gently touched her hand.

"What happened, Charlie?"

I looked at him as he stood next to me. He looked devastated.

His voice trembled as he explained, "The police said that she swerved on the road, possibly trying to avoid hitting an animal, and lost control of the car."

I stared down at her.

"How could this happen?" I whispered.

Charlie wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed. "I don't know. She's in a coma right now, but I guess we'll have to wait for the doctor to let us know what's really going on."

My mind raced a thousand miles per minute. This could not be happening. I was just getting used to living with Charlie and Renee and now she was lying here in a coma?

Just then, the doctor walked in and held out his hand. "Mr. Swan, I'm Dr. Michael Newton. I've been taking care of your wife."

Charlie took the doctor's hand and shook it. "Please, call me, Charlie. This is our son, Jasper."

The doctor smiled a half smile and then his face went serious.

_This can't be good._

"Mr. Sw – I mean, Charlie. Your wife hit a tree earlier this evening. Unfortunately, the blow to her head caused severe trauma and I'm afraid there's brain damage."

Charlie's eyes widened. "What does that mean?" he asked.

The doctor swallowed. "It means the damage is so severe your wife would have to stay on life support to keep her alive."

Charlie took a few steps back as if he had been hit with a ton of bricks. I watched in stunned silence as the only man I could ever really call a father, fell apart. He dropped his head into his hands and began to sob. The doctor immediately walked over to him and placed his hand on his shoulder. Charlie kept shaking his head back and forth, as he cried, "This can't be right. Not my Renee!"

I walked over to Charlie and stood next to him. I was at a loss because I had no idea what to do. I wanted to take away his grief, but I didn't know how. The doctor stepped out of the room, saying that he would give us some privacy as Charlie continued to sob. The tears that had welled in my eyes earlier from the immense happiness I felt now trickled down my cheeks from grief.

_o-o-o-o-o-o-o_

I looked at my watched and noticed that fifteen minutes had passed without me even noticing. I pulled out my phone to see if Alice had texted me while I was lost in my thoughts, but there was nothing. My annoyance surged. Another five minutes went by and I quickly stood up, nearly knocking over my chair and gaining a few odd glances as I walked out of the coffee shop. I hadn't even gotten to the end of the block when I heard someone behind me, yelling my name.

"Jasper! Wait!"

Part of me wanted to just keep walking, but I stopped and turned around. The sight in front of me nearly made me laugh out loud. Alice was running towards me with a bunch of papers in one hand and her blackberry in the other. She accidentally ran into another person and I watched as all of her papers flew into the air and slowly glided back down to the earth.

"Shit!" she exclaimed.

I walked over to her and leaned down to help her pick up her stuff.

"Jasper, I'm so sorry. My crazy boss made me sit in on a meeting and it ran over. What's worse is that I didn't even _need_ to be there! It was a complete waste of my time. I tried to send you a text, but my boss kept sending me messages and calling even after I left the office. Please don't hate me."

I looked at her, all flustered and worried, and my annoyance seemed to melt away. Once we had successfully collected all of her papers, I held out my hand and helped her to her feet again.

"Do you want to go back to the coffee shop?" she asked. 

"Sure. They'll probably think I'm a freak though, seeing as I'd been waiting in there for twenty minutes already." I laid it on extra thick.

Alice's shoulders slumped and her face fell as she exhaled. I thought she was going to push out her bottom lip for a second.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper."

I chuckled and said, "It's no big deal. I guess the important thing is that you showed up."

I held the door open for her and watched as she took a seat at the same table I had been seated. I sat across from her as she looked at the menu.

"Are you going to eat something or just have coffee?"

"I don't know," I replied. "I might have a sandwich."

"Well, I'm definitely getting something to eat. I'm starving!"

The waiter arrived and took our orders. I ordered a turkey sandwich with water and Alice ordered some sort of chicken wrap with an organic chai latte.

_What the hell is chai?_

The waiter quickly returned with our drinks and I watched as Alice took a sip of her chai, closed her eyes and sighed. "Mmmmm. That's just what I needed."

_Yeah, what I need you to do is strip and spread yourself on this table._

My eyes widened a little at the random, inappropriate thought.

"What?" she asked. There was no doubt that she noticed me staring at her.

"What the fuck is chai?" I blurted out, attempting to distract her.

It worked.

Pushing the cup towards me, she said, "Oh, it's really good. It kind of reminds me of hot chocolate, but not really."

I looked at the cup cautiously.

"It's okay, Jasper. It won't hurt you. It's warm and creamy and kind of spicy. You'll like it."

Hesitantly, I picked up the cup from her hands and took the smallest sip I could manage. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised.

"That's pretty good. I thought it was going to be a cup full of tiny twigs floating in muddy water."

Alice giggled as I handed the cup back to her and we fell in an awkward silence.

"So… What did you do all day?" she asked.

"Um, nothing much. I just hung around my apartment for most of the day."

"Wow! It must be nice."

I cut my eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I wish I could just lounge around the house all day."

"So what, are you calling me lazy?" I asked defensively.

Alice rolled her eyes. "No, I'm not calling you lazy, you dork. I'm just saying that it would be nice to have a day where I didn't have to think about doing anything."

I looked down at the table. "Oh."

Thankfully, the waiter arrived with our food and I immediately dove into my sandwich. Alice picked up half of her wrap and took a huge bite out of it. Mayonnaise dripped out of the corner of her mouth and she stuck her tongue out to get it. I tried to will my mind to stop thinking about _other_ white substances I'd love to see drip out of Alice's mouth. It was nice being around a woman who didn't feel the need to eat like a dainty bird in front of a guy.

After she had chewed her first bite and swallowed, Alice looked at me once more. This time her brows knitted together. I couldn't tell if she was upset or deep in thought. Whatever it was, it was fuckin' cute as hell.

"You know," she started, "I'm not going to hurt you."

I almost choked as I drank my water.

"What?" I croaked.

"I'm just saying that you don't have to have your guard up with me. I'm not going to hurt you."

I took a few moments to let the words settle and then smirked.

"Darlin', that's what they all say. People always say those things and before you know it, you're sitting somewhere wallowing because they fucked you over...once again."

"Like I said before, _darlin'_, I'm not like other people." She giggled as I playfully cut my eyes at her for using my own term of endearment against me.

"We'll see," I replied.

As we finished our meals, we talked about work and other mundane things. I offered to take care of the check and Alice hesitantly agreed. While she was finishing up her chai, I looked out to the street and thought I saw Edward walking by. I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but as I looked closer, I noticed that he was holding someone's hand. Alice turned and followed my line of vision.

"Is that Edward?"

"Yeah," I said, continuing to stare.

"Who's that girl he's with?"

My lips curled into an evil grin. "I don't know, but we're going to find out."

I grabbed Alice's hand and walked out of the café. Edward and his mystery lady were in their own little world. She was pressed up against him and he was whispering something into her ear. She giggled and melted into him as he kissed her.

"Fuck. Me." I exclaimed.

"Looks like they're getting pretty friendly," Alice said.

I walked even closer to Edward and the mystery woman, pulling Alice along with me. We stood in front of them for a good 30 seconds while they continued to assault each other's mouths. I couldn't take any more of their PDA, so I loudly cleared my throat. Edward, still in his lust-induced haze, slowly turned his head and looked at me. I think it took a few seconds for him to register that it was me because I watched – in amusement – as all of the color drained from his face.

"Jasper! What are you doing here?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing, buddy."

I smiled at Edward's friend and she smiled nervously, looking from me to Alice and then back to Edward.

"So," I finally said, "are you going to introduce us?"

Edward shifted a little and looked more nervous than ever. I looked over at his lady friend. She had long brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and wore wire-rimmed glasses. She smiled shyly and turned to Edward. I watched as she slowly ran her arm up and down his arm to comfort him. To be honest, the sight was kind of sweet, but I would never let jerk off know that.

Edward took a deep breath and looked back and forth between me and Alice. I smirked as he finally spoke.

"Jasper. Alice. This is my girlfriend, Angela."

I looked at Angela, who seemed to be beaming and swooning at the same time.

Holding out my hand, I smiled and said, "Angela, it's nice to finally meet you. Edward has spoken highly of you."

Her smile somehow managed to grow tenfold.

"Nice to meet you too," she exclaimed.

Alice stepped forward and shook Angela's hand.

"It's nice to meet you, Angela!"

"You too," she replied. "Are you and Jasper together?"

I choked and tried to cover up the sound with a pitiful cough. Alice laughed and said, "No, we're just friends."

"Maybe the four of us could double date sometime," Angela suggested.

Edward and I looked at each other and tried to keep our cool. I certainly was not up for a double date and I'm sure Edward was more than freaked the fuck out because he had been caught.

"Yeah, that would be fun," Alice said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Well, we'd better get going," Edward said. "We have plans. I'll see you later, Jasper. It was nice seeing you again, Alice."

I nodded my head as Alice replied, "It was nice seeing you too, Edward. And it was nice meeting you, Angela!"

Angela smiled and waved at us as she and Edward began to walk away. As they walked further down the block, I watched Edward grab Angela's hand, bring it up to his lips and kiss it. She leaned in closer and laid her head on his shoulder. I couldn't help but smile a little bit. Despite all of his douche bag qualities, Edward really did find a seemingly nice girl and was completely taken with her.

I felt Alice shift next to me and I turned to her. With that gorgeous smile on her face, she said, "Wow. That was unexpected."

I laughed, which always seemed so much easier with Alice around, and agreed. "Never in a million years would I have thought that Edward Masen would act like a lovesick puppy."

"Maybe he just found the right woman?"

"Yeah, probably," I said with a sigh.

"Well, do you want to do something else or do you need to get home and get ready for work?"

I looked down at Alice and felt something stir within me.

"Yes, there is one other thing," I whispered.

"What is it?" she asked, her eyes full of curiosity.

I gently placed one hand on either side of her face and leaned down to kiss her soft lips. My body instantly warmed and I tried to absorb all her kindness, sweetness, and caring nature. I knew it was ridiculous to think that, but with Alice I felt like anything was possible. I felt her hands snake into my hair and rub my scalp. I slowly pulled away from her delectable lips and nuzzled her neck, placing soft kisses on her bare skin. She smelled so good and I could have stayed like that for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, some asshole burst my bubble when he yelled out, "Get a room!"

Alice and I reluctantly pulled away from each other. I looked in her eyes and wanted to say so much.

_What is this between us?_

_Why do I feel so comfortable around you?_

_You make me believe there are good people out there._

But I said nothing. We just smiled at each other and began walking down the street.

"I'll walk you home," I said.

"No, it's too far to walk," she responded, "but you can walk me to the subway station."

"Okay."

I followed Edward's lead and pulled Alice close as we walked to the subway station. She snuggled even closer and wrapped her arm around my waist. For the first time in a very long time I felt completely content and at ease. It was a nice feeling, but I knew one thing for sure, I was fuckin' scared out of my mind.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

**Aww! Looks like Jasper is softening up a little bit! :)**

**If you want to check out the café Jasper and Alice visited, go to this website.**

**http:/www . cafepraguenyc . **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter out. I took a break for Thanksgiving and to write my first o/s **_**Just the Way you Are**_**. It's a sweet story I wrote for the Many Faces of Jasper contest. Oh, and did I mention it's a slash story? Yes, Jasper & Edward lovin'! *happy dance* LOL Anyway, voting is open through December 6****th****, so head over to the Jasper's Darlins website to cast your vote at ****http:/jaspersdarlins (dot) blogspot (dot) com/p/many-faces-of-jasper-voting (dot) html****. Read all of the entries at ****http:/www (dot****) fanfiction (dot) net/community/The_Many_Faces_of_Jasper/85910/99/0/1/**

**Those of you who love Edward's and Jasper's interactions will love this chapter! :)**

**I do not own Twilight, its characters or any of the other copyrighted material mentioned.**

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

After I left Alice at the subway station three days ago, my mind has been inundated with thoughts of her - kissing her soft lips, feeling her mouth on my neck, running my hands over her ass, and feeling her lips wrapped around my perpetual erection. I feel like I've been jerking off nonstop and fear my dick is just going to fall off altogether. There's no doubt in my mind that I would love to have sex with her, but something is holding me back. She's special and worth more than a quick fuck before work.

"That fucker Edward must be rubbing off on me," I say to myself.

_Speaking of Edward, where the hell has he been lately?_

After we ran into him and Angela at the café, he's been M.I.A. I had a feeling he was avoiding me, so I grabbed my keys and walked over to his apartment. After knocking on his door I waited…and waited...and waited.

"I know you're in there, asswipe, so open the door!"

I pounded again on the door and watched as it swung open. Edward stood before me rubbing his eyes.

"What the fuck, Jasper! I was sleeping."

I stepped past him and into his apartment, a little surprised by what I saw. This was the first time I had actually been in his apartment and figured he lived like just about every other guy on the planet, like a functioning slob, but his apartment was neat, clean, and modern.

_Maybe he has OCD._

"Do you really live here," I asked looking confused.

Still groggy, Edward croaked out, "Of course. Why?"

"You just seem awfully….neat."

"Well, dickhead, not everyone has to live like an animal."

I chuckled to myself.

"Besides," he continued, "why are you here?" He started to walk into the kitchen so I followed and sat down at the island.

"I haven't been graced with your ugly mug in a few days and wondered if you were still alive."

He smirked and spoke in a terrible southern accent. "Why Jasper, I do declare! You're worried about little old me?"

"Fuck you," I said while laughing.

"And you say that _I'm_ in love with you? Looks like you're catching feelings, my friend. Do you want some coffee?"

"Yeah."

He turned his back to me and started the coffee maker.

"So you really were worried," he asked.

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"After running into you and your…lady friend the other day it seemed like you were avoiding me."

"I just didn't want to hear your shit," he quickly shot back.

I silently laughed to myself.

"What, you thought I was going to tease you because you have a girlfriend?"

He turned around and leaned back on the counter, crossing his arms across his chest.

_Is he trying to look menacing because it's not working._

"Yes," he said simply.

I shook my head. "Come on, Edward. What the fuck am I going to say to you? So what if you got caught acting all lovey dovey with your new girlfriend? If you didn't notice, I was out with Alice."

He shrugged.

I decided to fuck with him a little. Becoming very serious, I looked straight at him and said, "Did you think I'd get jealous? That I wouldn't know how to react to seeing you with a woman on your arm?"

Edward looked at me dumbfounded and I struggled with all my might to keep a straight face.

"Jasper. I-I didn't think anything like that."

I held up my hand to stop him and sighed dejectedly.

"No, it's okay. I understand. I-I just didn't think I'd get replaced so easily."

I watched as Edward's face fell and he stepped towards me.

"Jasper, it's not like that. You're my best friend. I wouldn't do that to you."

I froze at the mention of being his best friend.

_Shit! This is getting real now. I need to turn this around._

I stood up and walked around the island towards Edward. He looked like he wasn't sure if he wanted to run, throw up, or stand his ground. I held out my arms as if I was going to hug him and at the last minute I slapped him across the face. His look of utter shock caused me to double over in laughter.

"You motherfucker," he screamed as he lunged at me.

I quickly stopped laughing and prepared to defend myself. We ended up locking arms, kicking, hitting, and ducking each other's blows. Finally, Edward got in a good smack to my face and we called a truce, but by that time both of us were nearly in tears from laughter.

"You really are an asshole," he said sitting opposite me at the island.

"But we're best friends! Why would you say that to me," I joked.

"Hey, just because you're an asshole doesn't mean we can't be friends."

Rolling my eyes, I responded, "Yeah, yeah."

"I may be a lot of things, Jasper, but I'm fiercely loyal to my friends. So unless you royally fuck up, you're stuck with me."

"Happy happy joy joy," I replied giving him the finger.

"Oh shit! You pulled out a Ren & Stimpy reference?"

"So what? I loved that show when I was a kid. Charlie owned the VHS collection…"

"Who's Charlie," he asked.

I didn't feel like explaining that bittersweet part of my life just yet with Edward, so I quickly changed the subject.

"So how are things going with Angela?"

Edward smiled all dreamy and I sat back in my chair waiting for him to explode with gushy love talk.

"Things are going really well. She invited me to meet her family in a couple weeks."

"Really? Things are that serious, huh?"

"Yeah. She's really something special. She complements me and is so sweet and innocent, but not naïve. One day we were in the Village and my girl told off some asshole in a convenience store who got an attitude with her and thought he was going to talk down to her. I was about to go and kick his ass, but she told me she could handle it. And handle it she did. I doubt he will ever speak to a woman like that again."

I watched as Edward's face literally lit up and his eyes danced while talking about Angela. He really was in love. I hoped that one day I'd feel the same way, but I just didn't know if that would ever become a reality.

_o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o_

What a day. There I stood in front of a casket being lowered into the ground. In my short time on this earth, I had experienced plenty of pain. The almost daily abuse from my step father made me somewhat immune to physical pain and I had somehow numbed myself to the emotional pain he and my mother inflicted, but this - seeing the only real mother I had ever known take her last breath and the only decent man I'd known fall apart was too much for me to take.

As Renee was slowly lowered into the ground, I looked over at Charlie. I needed his support, but I also wanted to be there for him. He was a wreck. To others he looked sad, but pulled together. To me, he was dying a slow death. Ever since that horrible day at the hospital when he gave Dr. Newton permission to take Renee off life support, he hasn't been the same. He hadn't left the house, rarely slept, and barely spoke to me. I understood he was grieving, but the selfish part of me wanted him to tell me everything was going to be okay.

By some miracle, Charlie and Renee were able to formally adopt me before the accident, but now I seemed to be back in the same predicament: on my own.

"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust," the minister concluded.

Charlie and I slowly walked up to the grave and each of us threw a single rose onto the casket. People started to leave, but Charlie and I stayed right where we were. My heart broke for him. He thought he would finally have the perfect family and now the love of his life was gone. I put my hand on his shoulder and lightly squeezed. I wanted to let him know I was there. He turned his head and looked at me, his eyes full with unshed tears. I choked back a sob at the sight. Even though I had only been with the Swans for a little over six months, Charlie was the strongest man I had ever known and it killed me to see him like this. He nodded and smiled weakly in response to my small show of comfort.

Over the next few weeks, Charlie tried to get back to normal, but he had a pretty hard time. My 15th birthday rolled around and since I was used to people not giving a damn, I didn't expect much. I was completely shocked when I came home from school and found Charlie bringing a lit cake out to me. It was the first time I had seen him moderately happy since Renee's death and I couldn't have been more grateful. We had a "guy's night" complete with pizza and beer – for Charlie of course, I had root beer. After we were stuffed with junk food and birthday cake, Charlie handed me a small box.

"This is for you, son."

I carefully took the box from his hands and opened it. My eyes grew wide.

"This pocket watch was my great, great, great, great grandfather's who fought in the Civil War. It's been passed down from son to son ever since and now I want to pass it on to you."

I carefully pulled the gold pocket watch out of the box and looked at it in awe. It was in pristine condition and I was half afraid I'd break it. Before I knew it, tears started to stream down my face.

I looked up a Charlie and softly said, "No one's ever given me a birthday gift before."

"Really," he questioned.

I just nodded my head, too overcome with the magnitude what I was happening.

"I hope the gift is okay," he said nervously.

"Charlie, this is the best thing in the entire world! Not only are you passing down a family heirloom to someone who isn't even your son, but you're giving me a part of Civil War history, something I absolutely love."

"Jasper, don't ever think you're not my son. Just because you're not my flesh and blood doesn't mean that I don't love you like you are my very own. Renee and I wanted you to have it and had planned to give it to you all along. I just wish that she could have been here to celebrate this day with you."

I nodded my head and looked down.

"I miss her, Charlie."

"Me too, son. Me too."

We both sat in silence for a few minutes before Charlie spoke up again.

"I almost forgot! There's something else I have for you!"

I know my eyes must have lit up because the thought of getting _two_ birthday gifts was almost too much to comprehend. Charlie pulled out the other gift and handed it to me. This one was wrapped, so I tore into it and removed all the paper. As recognition hit me, I couldn't help but smile.

"Since you've pretty much worn out the box set of seasons one and two that I own, I figured you should have your own complete set."

It was the every single season of my favorite cartoon, _Ren & Stimpy_.

"Thanks, Charlie!"

He pulled me in for a quick hug as I quickly wiped away a few more stray tears.

"Can we watch a few episodes," I asked.

"Sure, son. It's your day!"

I turned to put the video tape in the VCR, but before I did I had one last thing I had to get out.

"Thanks….Dad."

_o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o_

"So what about you," Edward asked.

"What about me?"

He rolled his eyes. "What's going on with you and Alice?"

"I don't know."

I really didn't know how to answer that question. We'd exchanged text messages since our dinner "date" a few days ago, but nothing else.

"Are you going to see her again?"

"I'd like to, I guess."

"What do you mean you guess? Either you do or you don't."

I glared at Edward and gave him a _shut the fuck up_ look, but he didn't seem fazed at all.

"I do, dammit."

"Okay. Then why haven't you asked her out?"

"I've been busy and I know she's busy at work."

"Fool, please! You have not been _that_ busy and you know it."

"Shit, Edward! Lay off!"

He held up his hands in mock surrender. "Fine, but if you like this girl, you need to grow some balls and ask her out. What, do you expect her to ask you out every time?"

"No."

"Then come on! Take out your tampon, put the estrogen pills away, and ask the girl out."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"But what if I mess this up? I've only let two people get close to me and even then I kept them at a distance. What if I'm incapable of…"

"Okay, stop it," Edward interrupted. "I know you've been through a bunch of shit that I have no clue about. I'm not going to push you to tell me about it, but if you ever want to get past all of your issues, you need to take a chance."

I nodded.

"Alice seems like a sweet girl…"

"She is," I said.

Edward laughed and continued. "So if it will make you feel more comfortable, do you want to do that double date thing? Maybe with me and Angie there, you won't feel so much pressure."

"Yeah, that would work."

"Great! I'll call Angie and you contact Alice. We'll set something up."

"Thanks, man."

"No problem!"

Edward walked out of the room and I heard him talk to Angela on the phone. After a minute of talking to her, he returned and gave me a thumbs up.

_I guess there's no turning back now._

I picked up my cell phone and searched my phone book for Alice's number. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the call button and waited…

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**I love Edward & Jasper's friendship! :) Let me know what you thought about this chapter! **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I do not own Twilight, its characters or any of the other copyrighted material mentioned.**

**x~x~x~x~x~x~x**

_I guess there's no turning back now._

_I picked up my cell phone and searched my phone book for Alice's number. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the call button and waited…_

x~x~x~x~x~x~x

"Hello," said the disembodied voice in my phone.

"Um, hi, Alice. It's Jasper."

"Hey, Jasper! How are you doing?"

"Fine. Um, would you possibly want to…uh…I don't know…"

"Are you asking me out, sweetie?"

"Yes," I said a little too eagerly.

"Sure! When would you like to go?"

"Um…hold on a second."

I covered the receiver and looked at Edward, who was practically turning beet red from laughter. I guess he heard my not-so-smooth attempt at asking Alice out on a date.

"Where are we going," I asked.

"There's this cool place to bowl called 300. Since it's a double date, it seems like a good choice for group setting."

"Okay. Oh, when are we going?"

Edward laughed and shook his head.

"Come on, fucker! Alice is waiting!"

"Alright! How about Friday night?"

"I'll ask."

I returned the phone to my ear.

"Alice? Are you still there?"

"Yep! I'm here!"

"There's this cool place to bowl that Edward suggested called 300. He and Angela will be joining us...like a double date. I hope you don't mind."

"No, that sounds like fun, but I've never been there before."

"I understand if you don't want to go."

"Jasper, of course I want to go. It's just that I've never been. It'll be cool adventure."

"Okay, I'll text you with the rest of the details."

"Wait, when are we going?"

"Friday night."

"Sounds good! Thanks for inviting me."

"Um, you're welcome. Talk to you later."

"Okay! Bye!"

I hung up the phone and dreaded looking at Edward. There he was, leaning over the counter with his head resting on his forearms. His shoulders were shaking like crazy and I wanted to kick his legs right out from under him.

"What the fuck is so funny, Edward?"

He looked up at me with tears running down his cheeks from laughing so hard. Never in my life had I wanted to punch someone so badly. My hands balled into fists and I spoke through clenched teeth.

"It's not _that_ funny."

"Oh, yes it is! How is it that you can be such a cocky bastard any other time of the day, but get Alice on the phone and you turn into a bumbling dork who's asking a girl out for the first time? It just doesn't make sense."

"Keep laughing, Edward, and you'll see what kind of dork I can be."

He rolled his eyes and snorted.

"So I take it everything is set with Miss Alice?"

"Yes, asshole, she agreed to go out with me."

"Good. Maybe between now and then you'll be able to grow some balls and learn how to act like a man in front of her."

"I've been out with her before, you know."

"Yeah, that's right. So if you were okay then, why do you have such a big stick up your ass now?"

I sighed as my knee started to bob up and down quickly.

"I don't know, man. With other girls I've had no problem talking to them. Alice just seems to fuck with my mind and I get all jumbled up."

"I know what it is, you dumbass."

"Well, please enlighten me, Dr. Masen."

"It's obvious. You really like her."

I scoffed and shook my head.

"I'm serious. Look, with other girls you didn't give a damn. You talked to them a little, got them to give you a little head or a quick fuck and you never saw them again. I'm assuming you haven't done that with Alice, right?"

"We kissed, but that's all."

"I rest my case."

"Wait, I thought you were a doctor, not a lawyer."

"You're the one who called me Dr. Masen, fool, but admit it, I'm right."

"Well, I don't want Alice to be another quick fuck. She's too nice for all that. The other girls were just skanks looking for a good time. They served their purpose and that was that."

"I think she'd be good for you. You're not such a bitchy asshole when she's around."

"Gee, thanks, dickwad."

"Anytime! I'll call Angie again to go over the rest of our plans."

I nodded as Edward disappeared into his room to call Angela. Even though our date wasn't for a couple of days, I was scared shitless!

_What if she realizes what an asshole I _really_ am?_

_What if she sees me for the damaged goods I am?_

_What if she laughs in my face and tells me to get a life?_

_What if I'm incapable of having a real relationship? Can I allow someone to get close?_

_What if I have to beat down Edward in front of Alice and Angela?_

x~x~x~x~x~x~x

Friday evening arrived and I tried to keep my cool. As usual, Edward was being the prick he always is and teased me relentlessly. We all decided that the girls would meet us at Edward's apartment and we'd all head over to 300 together. When I arrived at Edward's he was still getting ready. I noticed him putting some sort of goopy looking shit in his hair and figured he was trying to tame it since it's usually all over the place. It just seemed to mess it up more.

"Why do you put that stuff in your hair only to make it look the same as it did before you used it?"

"It holds it in place."

"If Angela puts her hands in your hair will they snap off from the crunchiness?"

He turned to me and narrowed his eyes.

"No. It doesn't get crunchy, thank you very much."

"Well, excuse me. I stand corrected."

After what seemed like an eternity, Edward deemed himself presentable. We headed into the kitchen and he handed me a beer while we waited for the girls.

"Here. I think you need this."

"Thanks," I said and took a long pull of the bitter liquid.

"I promise not to make fun of you tonight, just in case you're worried. For the most part, you won't even know I'm there."

"Really," I asked quirking an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I'll have my Angie with me, so I don't need to worry about you and your nerdy behavior."

"I don't act like a nerd."

Edward rolled his eyes and continued.

"Fine, you don't act like a nerd, but you do act very nervous."

"I am!"

"But it's just Alice. You were fine on your last date, weren't you?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't _really_ a date."

"Well, just act like you're two friends getting together to bowl and eat some food. It's that simple. Don't make it into some grand event it isn't."

"I guess you're right."

"Of course! I'm Edward fucking Masen!"

"You're also a tool."

"Be that as it may, I have the most beautiful woman in the world on my arm!"

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask you about that. How the hell did _you_ get someone like Angela. I mean, I don't know much about her, but she seems like a good girl – someone who should _not_ be hanging out with you!"

"We grew up together in Chicago and our families have been friends forever. I'm a couple of years older, so I never gave her a second glance back at home. When I got a phone call from my dad telling me that she had graduated from college and was moving here to New York, he asked me to show her around and make sure she was settled. I picked her up from JFK and when she walked towards me, it was like all time stopped and I was looking at the woman of my dreams."

"Wow," I said in awe of how Edward described seeing his future girlfriend.

"It was like I was seeing her for the first time. She was still the sweet, kindhearted girl I'd always known, but something about her was different. I was so strongly drawn to her and didn't know what to think of it. I'm mean, her dad's a minister for god's sake."

I nearly spit out my beer all over Edward and the counter with that piece of information.

"Her dad is a minister? You have got to be shittin' me!"

"No, that's how our fathers became such close friends. My dad healed the sick and Angie's dad healed their souls."

For some reason I just could not grasp the fact that Edward fucking Masen was dating the daughter of a minister. It just didn't compute.

"Wait, so have you two had sex yet?"

Edward turned a deep shade of red and looked down at the counter, absently playing with the label on his beer bottle.

"No," he said quietly.

"Is she waiting until marriage or something?"

"No, but she is a virgin."

"That doesn't surprise me. Like I said, she's a good girl."

"We've talked about it a little. I mean, I want to have sex with her more I've ever wanted to fuck someone before, but that's just it. It won't be fucking with her and it scares me a little."

"Scares you?"

"Yeah, I've never been with a virgin before."

"Oh."

"We're just taking things slow and when it happens, it happens."

Even though I would never admit it to him, I kind of respected Edward for how he was handling his relationship with Angela. When I first met him, I never thought I'd be sitting in his apartment talking about love and all that shit, but if he and Angela are happy, that's all that matters.

As we were finishing up our conversation, Edward's doorbell rang. I tensed and he grabbed my arm.

"Just keep calm, man. You'll be fine."

I nodded my head and took a deep breath as he walked to the door and greeted the ladies.

x~x~x~x~x~x~x

**EPOV**

I opened the door and took in the amazing sight of Angie's smiling face. Without thought, I pulled her towards me and kissed the top of her head. She gently wrapped her arms around my waist and squeezed. I was content to stay just like that when I heard someone clear her throat behind my girl.

"Oh, hey Alice! Come in!"

She giggled and said dryly, "Thanks, Edward."

Not letting go of the woman in my arms, I closed the door and turned to see if Jasper was hiding. He wasn't, so Alice walked right up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a hug and quick kiss on the cheek. I had to hold back my laughter at the goofy grin that spread across his face. He's got it bad, even if he refuses to admit it.

"So," I started, "are y'all, as my weird southern friend would say, ready to head out?"

Jasper cut his eyes at me and I smirked back.

"Yeah, let's go," my angel replied.

x~x~x~x~x~x~x

Finally arriving at the bowling alley, we made our way to the shoe rental counter. I requested shoes for Angie and myself and watched Jasper and Alice from the corner of my eye. They seemed really comfortable around each other, but I could sense a certain level of discomfort emanating from Jasper. I wish he'd just relax for a damned minute. It's not like the girl will bite. What I did find interesting is the fact that Jasper is actually kind around Alice. When I see him at work or when we just hang out, he can be a fucking prick, but with Alice he does a complete 180.

Jasper walked up the counter and I instantly noticed the shoe girl giving him the look. You know the look I'm talking about it. It's the look that says, "My next break is in 15 minutes. How about you bend me over the table and fuck me senseless?"

"I'll need a size 13," Jasper requested.

"And I'll need a size seven," Alice added.

The shoe girl totally ignored Alice and leaned closer to Jasper.

"Size 13? I just love men with big feet."

I guess that was shoe girl's lame attempt at seduction, but all it did was make Jasper frown. I looked down at Angie and told her that we were in for a little early entertainment.

"You do, huh," Jasper asked, completely uninterested. "Well how about you scurry away and collect our shoes?"

Shoe girl licked her lips and purred, "Sure thing, baby."

Jasper scrunched up his nose as if he smelled something rotten. Before she even had a chance to move, he laid into her.

"Look, I'm not your baby, your honey, your sweetie, or your boo. Get our fucking shoes and stop wasting my time."

A glutton for punishment, the dumb shoe girl said, "Well, I wouldn't mind making you all of those things. What do I have to do?"

Just as Jasper was about to say something, which I'm sure was very scathing and inappropriate in the company of true ladies, Alice spoke up.

"You can step the fuck back, bitch, because he's mine!"

I think my jaw hit the floor as I fist pumped in my head. Jasper looked at Alice as shocked as ever while she smiled sheepishly at him.

Shoe girl rolled her eyes and finally left to gather their shoes. Holding Angie tight, I walked up to Alice and my stunned friend.

"That was the shit, Alice!"

"Yeah, that was awesome," Angie exclaimed.

"Well, she just wouldn't get a clue and I had to do something," Alice said. "Besides, I could see that she was making you uncomfortable, Jasper."

We all looked at Jasper who still seemed to be in shock. He blinked and shook his head, acting like he wanted to say something but couldn't form the words. I looked down at Angie and asked if she and Alice would get comfortable in our lane while I spoke to Jasper. She agreed, placed a deliciously sinful kiss on my lips, linked arms with Alice's and walked away.

Shoe girl returned and I took the shoes from her without acknowledging her presence.

Pushing Jasper to the side, I asked if he was okay.

"Yeah, it's just that no one's really stood up for me like that. I mean, I could have handled myself with that skank, but Alice saw I was uncomfortable and took care of the situation…she took care of me."

He was in such a state of shock that I couldn't help but laugh. I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him over to our lane.

"Come on, man. Let's go get our ladies.

**x~x~x~x~x~x~x**

**I hope you all enjoyed this long overdue chapter! If you want to see the bowling alley the guys visited, see the link in my profile.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I do not own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.**

**x~x~x~x~x~x~x**

After Edward and I joined Alice and Angela, I decided to try to talk to Alice while Edward and Angela took their turns. Trying to be extra slick, Edward took it upon himself to personally give Angela a bowling lesson, standing behind her and commenting on her "form". He can be such a dork sometimes.

Alice watched and laughed as Edward made an ass of himself. I figured it was as good a time as any to try to spark up a conversation with her.

"So…" I started.

Alice turned her head to look directly at me and I froze for a moment.

"So…" she responded.

Another awkward moment passed by.

"So where the fuck did that come from?"

She frowned and asked, "What are you talking about?"

"You telling that skank back there to basically fuck off. That was pretty awesome!"

"Oh, that! It was no big deal," she said while returning her gaze to Angela and the Dumbass.

"It was to me," I mumbled to myself.

Just then, Alice turned to me and placed her hand on my knee.

"Jasper, I just felt the need to step in. I know you could have handled her on your own, but she was getting weird and too pushy."

"You're my very own personal bodyguard!"

Alice laughed and shook her head. "Remember, I have super secret ninja skills. I could handle the job."

"I'm sure you could."

"Are you hiring?" she asked with a wink.

I laughed and shook my head. "Not right now, but you'll be the first person I call should I ever need one."

"It's a deal!"

Out of nowhere, Edward the Fucked Up, called over to us.

"Hey, lovebirds, it's your turn."

Alice stood up and headed to the lane. I took the opportunity to flip Edward off and mouth, "Fuck you" as he smiled like a fucking Cheshire cat , pulling Angela into his side.

While Alice was taking her turn, I went to retrieve my ball. A memory I'd tried with all my might to forget crept its way to the forefront of my mind.

_o~o~o~o~o~o~o_

It had been four months since Renee's funeral and things still weren't quite right. Of course things would never be the same without her, but I thought Charlie would try to push forward and continue with life. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

Before she got sick, Renee, Charlie and I would go bowling every couple of weeks. I think they used it as a device to get me to open up. You know, good family fun and shit. The first few outings were boring as hell because I didn't trust them and wasn't comfortable enough to have so-called fun with them. Eventually, I let my guard down and ended up enjoying myself.

Hoping to cheer him up a little, I pulled his bowling ball out of the closet and met him in the living room. As usual, he looked like a zombie, mindlessly watching some sports show on TV.

"Hey Charlie," I called out.

I received no response.

"Charlie," I said again.

Silence.

This time I stood right next to him and nudged his shoulder. That got his attention and he finally looked at me. Seeing his dead eyes was nothing new to me, but his sudden bouts of silence were. I knew he was hurting, but I didn't know what to do. I spent my time mourning and moved on. I loved Renee, but she was gone and there was nothing I or Charlie could do to bring her back. Besides, I was used to losing people. Hell, I lost myself until I lived with the Swans.

"Hey, Charlie, do you want to go bowling?"

He looked down at the ball and grunted out a measly "No" before turning his attention back to the television.

"Come on! It'll be fun!"

"I said no."

"Charlie, you need to get out of the house."

With a swiftness I didn't know he possessed, Charlie stood up and stalked towards me.

"I told you I don't want to go bowling, so drop it."

"Why, because Sportscenter is so damned interesting?"

"I don't feel like it," he mumbled while looking back at the TV.

"You don't feel like doing anything anymore. Charlie, she's gone. It's really shitty that she can't be here with us, but sitting around like the walking dead isn't going to bring her back. You need to move on."

He turned towards me once again with such anger in his eyes it was disturbing.

"What the hell do you know?"

"I know that you've been AWOL since her funeral. Shit, Charlie, it's been four months. I'd never expect you to forget her, but you need to do…I don't know, something! You're not the one who's dead."

"I wish I was."

His words stung. Just when I thought I could have a normal life, fate shat on me again. Not only did the assholes of the world not want me, but now the seemingly decent people didn't want me either.

"I don't," I whispered.

"Yeah well, you'd be better off without me."

I stared at him in disbelief.

"How the fuck can you say that?"

"Watch you language."

"Fuck my language!"

He charged at me and for a brief moment I saw my stepfather. Determined not to back down, I stood my ground.

"What? Are you going to hit me? Slap the curse words out of my mouth?"

Coherence seemed to return to Charlie's mind and he furrowed his brows and shook his head quickly. 

"Jasper, I would never –"

"You wouldn't? You sure as hell were pretty close."

"I'm sorry, son."

"Son? Don't fucking call me son!"

I turned away quickly as I saw the hurt in his eyes.

"I'm going over to Peter's."

I ran upstairs and threw some of my belongings into a bag. Charlie was right on my heels the whole time.

"When are you coming back?"

"I don't know."

"Jasper, you can't just leave."

"Why the hell not? You've been gone for months! You certainly won't miss me!"

"Jasper, you're my son! Of course I'll miss you."

By this time we were standing in the foyer at the front door. I put my hand up to stop him from continuing.

"Save it."

And with that I walked out of Charlie's house…and out of his life.

_o~o~o~o~o~o~o_

"Jasper! Earth to Jasper!"

I returned to the present and saw Alice standing in front of me waving her hand in my face.

"Yeah?"

"What happened? It looked like you were a million miles away."

"Lost in my thoughts I guess."

She stepped closer and placed her hand in mine.

"Are you sure? Is everything okay?"

I nodded my head and removed my hand from hers.

"Looks like it's my turn."

She watched as I took my turn and bowled a strike. Turning around, I returned to my seat. Edward walked over and sat next to me.

"Are you alright?"

"Fuck! Will everyone stop asking me that! I'm fine!"

"Calm the fuck down, asshole! I was just asking a question. It looked like you were upset. Are things not going well with Alice?"

I leaned my head back on the incredibly hard plastic chair and sighed.

"No, things are fine. I'm just tired."

"Are you sure?"

I turned my head and glared at him.

"Fine, but if you need to talk, I'm around."

"Yes, you've made me painfully aware of that over and over again."

Alice walked up to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. Feeling suffocated by all of the undue attention, I shrugged out of her touch.

"Are you-"

"Don't," I interrupted. "If I hear that question one more time I'm going to fucking scream."

I ran my hands through my hair, gripping the strands.

"Okay," she said quietly. "We're here, Jasper."

I rolled my eyes and nodded my head.

_God! I feel like I can't fucking breathe in here!_

My breathing increased and I felt like I my air supply was dwindling to nothing. My eyes surveyed my surroundings in a frantic manner. I had to get the fuck out of there and fast. I grabbed my jacket and made a run for it.

"Jasper! Where the hell are you going?" Edward called out.

I had no time to deal with him right now. I felt like I was dying and I just needed to get back to my apartment. At least there I could die in peace. I made it out on the sidewalk and bumped into a bunch of tourists who were busy looking up at all of the buildings instead of watching where they were going.

"Watch where the fuck you're going," I yelled as they cowered in fear.

_I guess I just confirmed the stereotype of mean New Yorkers for them._

Just then I felt a hand on my shoulder.

_Oh, so they want to fight?_

I spun around prepared to pummel whoever dared touch me when I saw Edward standing in front of me.

"What the hell are you doing, Jasper? You're just going to ditch Alice like that?"

I shook my head and turned to walk away from him. Unfortunately for me, he decided to follow.

"Will you fucking stop!"

"What? Dammit, Edward, I just want to go home!"

"What happened back there? One minute you were fine and then next you were freaking out and running away."

"Nothing happened."

"You're a shitty liar."

"Yeah well, one of my many failures, I guess."

"Bullshit!"

"Just let me go home."

"Why, so you can take a few Xanax and collapse?"

"Maybe. I may also add a whiskey chaser."

"Are you trying to kill yourself or something? What's with the self-destructive behavior?"

"Edward, when are you going to get it through your head that you don't know me like you think you do? I'm not your friend, your acquaintance, buddy, or whatever the fuck you want to call me. I'm just me and I was doing just fine being by myself."

He stood frozen in front of me.

_I think I finally shocked the fucker into silence for once._

"Besides, the world wouldn't miss me," I continued bitterly. "Hell, it would probably be better off without me. So do yourself a favor and go back to your sweet girlfriend and Alice and live in your little deluded world."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I'm not deluded. Unlike you, I can make it in the real world without having to rely on drugs to help me function."

He took a step forward and got in my face. I didn't want to fight Edward, but I was ready if it came to that.

He spoke very low and menacing.

"Look, you either need to deal with your shit like a man or move the fuck on, but I tell you one thing, you will not disrespect me, my girlfriend, or the only decent woman to give you a second glance since you moved your sorry ass to this city. If you want to be left alone, fine. You got your wish. You go back to your apartment, take your pills and live whatever semblance of a life you have. I'll take my deluded self and be something you'll _never_ be….happy."

He turned around swiftly and walked back towards the bowling alley.

"Fuck you, Edward," I screamed.

I watched his back as he disappeared into the building.

"Dammit!"

x~x~x~x~x~x~x

Once I finally made my way back to my apartment, I collapsed on the sofa. Reaching under the couch, I pulled out my spare bottle of Xanax and popped one into my mouth. Rolling my eyes, I popped another for good measure. Hopefully they'd work quickly and I could just drift away into nothingness for a while, but Edward's words kept replaying in my head.

_You go back to your apartment, take your pills and live whatever semblance of a life you have. I'll take my deluded self and be something you'll _never_ be….happy._

What the hell did he know? He hadn't live through what I had.

_But he's been nothing but a cool guy to you._

I just prefer being alone.

_Then why did you feel hurt when he walked away from you?_

He'll get over it and knock on my door in a day or two. He's like herpes - I can never get rid of him.

_He's probably gone for good this time._

I grabbed my head. "Shut up," I said to the open space.

_You really fucked up this time. Maybe your stepfather was right. You're just a waste of space._

"No!"

_Not only did you treat your only friend badly, but you also ditched Alice._

I sat up immediately. "Shit!"

I grabbed my phone, poised to send a text message to Alice, but changed my mind. What exactly could I do? Apologize for being a prick and think everything would be hunky-dory again? She was much better off without me in her life. I'd only bring her down and she's too good for that.

I stood up and went into the kitchen. I opened the cupboard and pulled out a glass. Reaching for the whiskey bottle, I got ready to pour the amber liquid into it, but decided to just drink straight from the bottle. I took a long pull and relished the burn in my mouth and chest as it went down. I soon felt a warmth radiate through my body and knew that the pills, with the help of good ole Mr. Daniels, were taking effect. I lurched toward my bedroom and took another swig before setting the bottle on my nightstand and falling onto the bed.

Finally darkness overtook me.

**x~x~x~x~x~x~x**

**Jasper really made a mess of things, didn't he?**

**Thank you to my beta, Savannah-Vee! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I do not own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.**

**x~x~x~x~x~x~x**

Sleep didn't come easy that night. Even though there was a cocktail of alcohol and narcotics coursing through my system, I was still restless. Images continually flashed through my mind - my step father hitting me, my mother sprawled out on the couch high as a kite, Renee lying in the hospital bed fading away, Charlie charging at me, Edward walking away and Alice smiling brightly.

Just as I was able to finally fall asleep, I heard knocking at my front door. I sat up and tried to open my eyes as the knocking continued. Pissed that someone dared to show up unannounced at my apartment _and_ hinder my sleep, I threw myself back down on the bed and covered my head with a pillow.

The knocking refused to quit and I seriously contemplated calling the cops and screaming harassment. After another thirty seconds of knocking, I begrudgingly pulled myself out of bed and to the front door. I smiled to myself, thinking it must be Edward. He couldn't stay mad long, but I was going to make him suffer just a little.

I swung open the door.

"Look, fucker –"

I immediately shut up when I saw the one person I least expected.

Alice.

x~x~x~x~x~x~x

**APOV**

After his disappearance last night, I knew I needed to get to the bottom of what was getting to Jasper. When Edward returned after speaking to him, a combination of emotions washed over his features. He looked hurt, sad and extremely pissed off. Angela and I asked him what happened, but he just told us Jasper wasn't feeling well and needed to go home.

"Alice, I'm sorry he walked out like that. He's not feeling…well."

"It's okay, Edward, I understand."

"You're much better than I am. If I were you, I'd be pissed."

"I just know that something is really bothering Jasper right now. When we were taking our turns, he completely zoned out. When I got his attention again it was like he did a complete 180. Granted, he was never an open book before, but he seemed to close himself off even more."

"Yeah, I thought I could help him, but I now know his shit goes way beyond needing a friend. He's made it very clear he doesn't need or want one, so whatever."

I watched as Edward looked down at the floor and clenched his jaw. Whatever happened outside obviously affected him deeply, even though he didn't want anyone else to know.

"I don't think that's true, Edward. Jasper needs friends, whether he wants to admit it or not. None of us should turn our backs on him, especially when he seems to need us most."

Edward looked back up at me then, his eyes very serious.

"Alice, please be careful. He can be a fun guy, but he also has the ability to cut deep with his words."

"I will, but I need to ask you a favor."

"Sure, what is it?"

"I need you to tell me where Jasper lives."

Edward shook his head quickly.

"No, Alice."

"Edward, please. He needs someone to talk to."

"He doesn't want to talk to anyone. He just said he wants to be left alone."

"Come on. You and I both know that's a lie."

"I'm not convinced."

"I promise I'll leave if things get sketchy, but I doubt they will. He's always been nice to me – awkward, but nice."

"Okay, but like I said, be careful."

"Edward, you're acting like he's a crazed murderer or something."

"No, I'm just looking out for you."

I stepped closer and pulled him into a hug.

"Thanks for looking out for me. I do appreciate it."

He pulled away and smiled that cute crooked smile that makes Angela swoon. Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair and became very serious again.

"He lives a few doors down from me."

I nodded my head.

"But if you feel uncomfortable at all, give me a call or just haul ass to my apartment, okay?"

I laughed at his sudden over-protectiveness. Trying to lighten the mood a little, I saluted him.

"I'm serious, Alice."

"Okay, okay! Geez, you're worse than an older brother!"

"Well, I always wanted siblings…I guess you'll do."

I playfully punched his arm and he held it pretending to be hurt.

"I couldn't have a better big brother."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we returned to Angela.

"Just promise me, little sis. Don't try to be a hero and think you can save him all on your own. I think he needs a professional, but that's just _my_ opinion."

"Alright, big bro, I promise."

x~x~x~x~x~x~x

So there I was, knocking on Jasper's door, hoping he'd answer. Finally I heard some shuffling and grumbling on the other side.

Suddenly the door flew open and I was met with a very disheveled Jasper shouting, "Look, fucker –"

He quickly closed his mouth when he saw me standing there and I can only assume I was the last person he thought he'd see.

"Hey, Jasper," I said quietly. "Do you mind if I come in?"

He stood in the doorway and blinked repeatedly. Did he think I was a mirage? Was he completely freaked out by my being there? Finally he snapped out of his daze.

"Um, yeah. Come in."

He stepped back and allowed me to walk into his apartment. It was quite plain with just the necessities. I walked towards couch and he quickly walked past me.

"Sorry for the mess. I wasn't expecting...uh, company."

"Don't worry about it," I replied.

He quickly picked up random things that were strewn around.

"Uh…do you mind if I take a shower? I'll only be a few minutes," he asked nervously.

"Sure, go ahead. I'll be here when you're finished."

"Okay."

About ten minutes later, Jasper emerged from his bathroom freshly showered. My eyes grew wide as I took him in and he nervously tidied up. He certainly was a beautiful man, how could anyone _not _see that, but it was so sad that he couldn't see his beauty. He believed that hiding behind false bravado and arrogance could keep everyone at a distance and he'd protect himself from getting hurt. I knew a little of the pain he'd suffered as a child, so I could understand his defensive mechanism. Edward mentioned that Jasper needed a professional, and I agreed, but first I wanted to let him know that he didn't have to bottle up all of his feelings and that he had friends who would listen, Edward included.

Once he deemed the apartment presentable, Jasper sat down on the opposite end of the couch.

"What are you doing here?"

I was about to answer when he closed his eyes and frowned.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to come out the way it sounded."

I smiled. "It's okay. I just wanted to check up on you and see if you're feeling better."

He looked at me, confused. After a few moments, understanding washed over him.

"Yeah, I feel okay, I guess."

"Good," I replied. "So what happened yesterday?"

Jasper looked down and began playing with the fraying threads on his worn couch.

"Nothing."

"Jasper, that was definitely something. One minute you seemed to be having a little fun and the next you're running out. Edward looked like he wanted to cry, spit and punch something when he returned. What did you say to him?"

"Why do you assume _I_ did something wrong," he said bitterly.

"I'm not assuming anything. I just want to figure out what's going on."

Rubbing his hands over his face, he sunk down into the couch and stared at the ceiling.

He threw his arms down at his sides and exhaled loudly.

"I really don't want to."

I scooted closer to him and lightly rested my hand over his. He slowly turned his head and locked eyes with mine. We stared at each other for what seemed like forever. I had to make him understand that he could trust me enough to talk about what has haunting him so fiercely. He had to know that there actually are people who would be there for him.

"Please," I whispered.

His stare increased in intensity and I could have sworn I saw a flash of determination.

Sighing once again, he looked back up at the ceiling. I waited patiently knowing he was fighting a battle inside his head.

"Yesterday," he began, "a memory popped into my head. It was a memory I'd tried hard to push out of my mind, but I now know it was just hidden and waiting to re-emerge."

"Charlie, my….my….well, the guy who adopted me once I got out of foster care, and I had gotten into an argument one evening. His wife, Renee, had just passed away a few months earlier and he couldn't seem to move forward. I missed the fun we used to have before she got sick and suggested that he and I go bowling like we used to. He didn't want to but I kept pushing. I told him he needed to at least try to move on because there was nothing either of us could do to bring Renee back. He didn't like that and we argued. At one point I pissed him off enough that he charged me. He was primed and ready to hit me, push me, I don't know. Once he realized what he'd almost done he tried to apologize, but I didn't want to hear it. All I saw was my prick of a step father at that point – the bastard who made my life a living hell for years and the asshole who abused me and pretty much broke me emotionally. The bruises and the scars he left eventually healed, but I always carried his words with me. 'You're nothing but a waste of space,' he'd tell me. He called me stupid, retarded and any and every name you shouldn't call a child. Meanwhile, my sorry excuse for a mother just sat back and let it happen. She was too concerned with getting her next fix…or her next trick."

I quietly gasped as I listened to Jasper bare his soul, finally allowing some of the pain, confusion and anger spill from him. The venom in Jasper's voice as he spoke about his parents was frightening. How could someone do such things to an innocent child? My eyes began to get misty, but I held back the tears because I needed to be strong for Jasper.

"Jasper, whatever happened to Charlie?" I asked tentatively. I hoped I wasn't overstepping my boundaries.

His face crumpled and my heart broke.

"Um," he started, "that night I went over to my friend's house and basically stayed there until I graduated. Peter's parents were cool and pretty much left me to myself. As soon as the graduation ceremony ended, I packed up my shit and caught the first bus out of that rinky-dink town, never looking back. Peter was the only person I actually said goodbye to."

His voice shook and he cleared his throat to cover it.

"Have you spoken to him since?"

"No. I don't even know if he's still alive. How fucked up is that? The only real father I've ever known and I don't know if he's alive or dead."

I squeezed his hand in an effort to provide some sort of comfort to this poor, broken man sitting in front of me.

"Have you ever thought of contacting him now?"

He blinked his eyes rapidly in an effort to diffuse the tears that were threatening to fall.

"No. I don't know what I'd say to him. 'Hey Charlie! How ya doin'?' I wouldn't be surprised if he refused to talk to me. I deserve it."

"That's not true, Jasper. I'm sure you're both sorry about what happened that night, but you can't let that stop you from moving forward and salvaging the relationship."

He laughed sarcastically to himself.

"Salvage our relationship? I think that's long dead, Alice. He told me to my face I'm better off without him."

"I doubt he meant it."

"Then he shouldn't have said it."

"Did you mean it when you said it to Edward?"

His head whipped towards me so fast I was sure he'd hurt himself.

"What? He told you that?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Did you mean it?"

"Well….no. I said it out of anger."

"Just as I'm sure Charlie said what he said because of the sadness he felt after losing his wife. Unfortunately we all say things we shouldn't out of anger, but that's no reason to give up on someone."

"Alice it's been too long. I can't go back there again. It brings up too many memories."

He closed his eyes and looked to be in physical pain. My heart went out to him and I wished I could have done something to take that pain away. I knew Jasper wasn't really an asshole, like he wanted everyone to believe. He'd been through so much shit in his relatively short life that his experiences made him push people away. I watched him for a few moments, hoping he'd continue. When he didn't, I asked a question that was in the back of mind.

"Jasper, you said you stayed with your friend Peter after your argument with Charlie. How did Charlie feel about that?"

Keeping his eyes closed he spoke in almost a whisper.

"At first he constantly tried to get me to come back. He was always calling or just showing up at school or at Peter's house. Being the stubborn fucker I am, I refused to give in. Shit, he practically begged me to come home, but I didn't want to be bothered. Eventually he just gave up. Fuck, he gave up! I only saw him every once in a while after that, you know, for holidays, birthdays and shit. Peter told me that Charlie would give his parents a check every month for my expenses, child support if you will. He ended up just like everyone else. He didn't want me."

"I refuse to believe that, Jasper," I exclaimed. "It's obvious that he wanted his son back or else he wouldn't have begged you to come home!"

"But he stopped! Good parents don't just abandon their kids like that."

I shook my head. Jasper's view of the situation seemed to be so warped that he couldn't see that he too was part of the problem with Charlie.

"You didn't make it very easy for him though," I said.

He snorted and started to laugh. I wasn't sure if he actually found what I said to be funny or if he was just releasing some of the tension that filled the room.

"No, I guess I didn't," he agreed.

"Then why don't you do something about it?"

"What the hell could I possibly do now?"

"Call him."

Jasper's face blanched at my words and he looked as if he were about to be sick.

"No. I already told you, that's not happening."

"Well, if you ask me, that's pretty messed up."

He turned his head to look at me again.

"Well, I didn't ask you."

I thought for a minute as Jasper and I once again participated in a staring contest. I silently tried to get him to do the right thing and he fought back, staring even harder. I decided I needed to come up with a better strategy because asking politely wasn't cutting it.

"So you're just going to let them win, huh?"

He looked at me like I had sprouted antlers.

"What? Let who win?"

"You're just going to let all those sick fucks who hurt you win because you're too scared to talk to Charlie?"

He scrunched up his face and narrowed his eyes.

"Fuck no!"

"You're just proving them right. If you can't man up and speak to Charlie, who seems to have been nothing but a stand up guy except for his period of mourning, then maybe you aren't as strong as you think you are," I said while shrugging my shoulders.

I could see the wheels turning in his head. Something was starting to click and I held my breath in anticipation. He sat up suddenly looking alert, charged and incredibly sexy.

"Fuck them! I can do this. My step father always thought I was weak and a pussy, well, I'll prove his sorry ass wrong. No pussy ever backs down from a challenge!"

"Good! So are you going to call Charlie?"

Suddenly all of Jasper's bravery disappeared right before my eyes.

"Um…I…uh…I don't have his number."

"Do you remember the phone number to his house?"

"Yeah, but what if he doesn't live there anymore?"

"Then you'll have to figure out a different way. It can't hurt to try."

Jasper nodded his head slowly and reached for his cell phone. After holding it for a moment, he punched in the phone number he hadn't used in years. His finger hovered over the call button for awhile as he took deep breaths. I moved even closer so I could put my arm around his waist as a show of support.

"You can do this, Jasper. I have faith in you," I whispered.

He nodded his head again and pushed the call button. Lifting the phone to his ear, he waited as the phone rang. I prayed that the phone number still worked and that Charlie was home. Just then I saw Jasper's eyes flicker as he gasped sharply. He seemed frozen, so I lightly squeezed my arm tighter around his waist in an effort to get him to speak.

"Um, Charlie? It's Jasper…"

**x~x~x~x~x~x~x**

**Looks like Alice is ever so slowly chipping away at Jasper's tough exterior! AND she convinced him to call Charlie? I think she deserves a gold medal! LOL!**

**I wanted to do this chapter from Alice's point of view so we could get a more objective view of Jasper and his emotions. If he gave us his take on this conversation, we would have never gotten the true story. He wouldn't have mentioned the tears or described the way he felt (except maybe anger or apathy). Jasper's a hardass, remember…or that's what he wants us to believe!**

**The next chapter will pick up again with Jasper's POV.**

**As always, a BIG thank you to my beta, Savannah-Vee! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I do not own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Sorry for the long delay between updates. I've been concentrating on other writing projects for the past few months, but I haven't forgotten about this story!**

**We're picking up with Jasper's POV again.**

* * *

_**Previously….**_

"_You can do this, Jasper. I have faith in you," I whispered._

_He nodded his head again and pushed the call button. Lifting the phone to his ear, he waited as the phone rang. I prayed that the phone number still worked and that Charlie was home. Just then I saw Jasper's eyes flicker as he gasped sharply. He seemed frozen, so I lightly squeezed my arm tighter around his waist in an effort to get him to speak._

"_Um, Charlie? It's Jasper…"_

_x~x~x~x~x~x~x_

"Jasper? Is that really you?"

Shock.

Fear.

Nervousness.

Anger.

Elation.

Relief.

All of those feelings, and more, swirled through my system as I heard Charlie's voice come through the phone receiver. A voice that I hadn't heard in years seemed to make everything shift into focus and I felt an inexplicable calm wash over me.

"Uh, yeah. It's me," I mumbled.

"Oh my God! I can't believe I'm hearing your voice. Where are you? How have you been? Are you okay?"

The sudden bombardment of questions made me dizzy, but I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. Charlie, even though we'd had our differences after Renee's death, was still the only real father-figure I had and hearing that he was so concerned about my well-being caused a strange warmth to spread through my chest.

_What the hell is that?_

I quickly looked at Alice, who was standing next to me beaming. I smiled back at her before concentrating again on Charlie.

"I'm fine, Charlie. Things have been going okay, I guess. I live in New York now."

"Wow, New York City? That's great!"

"Yeah."

"So…I'm going to be frank with you, Jasper. I haven't heard from you in years and out of blue you call me. Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"I uh, I just need to t-talk to you."

"Jasper, if you're in any trouble, please tell me."

"I-It's nothing like that. I just haven't spoken to you in a long time and wanted to…well, talk."

I could hear Charlie sigh and wondered if it was a sigh of relief or sigh of annoyance. Quickly I tried to backpedal.

"If you're busy, I understand…"

"No," he interrupted. "Jasper, you have no idea how happy I am to hear from you. There are so many things I've wanted to say to you over the years, but I figured you didn't want to hear it, so I let you be. You're a man now and don't need me hovering..."

"Yes, I do," I answered before I even realized what I was saying.

"What?"

"I guess I need my…Dad."

There was silence as I realized that I'd called Charlie Dad for the first time since our argument. Suddenly I felt very vulnerable and out of sorts. This was not how I was supposed to feel. I was supposed to have a chip on my shoulder, tell people to go to hell and keep people at arm's length. However, at that moment, all I wanted was a hug from my Dad.

"Dad," I whispered. My voice sounded so small and childlike that I surprised myself.

"I'm here, son."

Charlie's voice trembled and he sounded as if he were fighting back tears. I bit my lip wondering what I should say next.

_Should I apologize? _

_Should I ask him to apologize?_

_Should I just pretend all the stuff in the past never happened?_

_Should I just hang up and tell him to have a good life?_

_What do I really want?_

_I want my Dad._

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. I just wish I could see you."

Sighing heavily, I murmured, "Me too."

"Well, I have some vacation time saved up. How about I come to New York and pay you a visit? You can show me all around the city and I can meet your friends."

"That sounds good. When do you think you'd be able to come?"

"I could probably make it there in two weeks. I'll just have to book a hotel room and my plane ticket."

"Don't bother booking a hotel room. You can stay at my place. I don't want you to waste your money and hotel rooms can be pretty expensive here in the city."

"Okay, but only if you're sure. I don't want to intrude."

"Don't worry about it."

"Great. I have your number on the caller ID, so I'll call you with the details once I have them confirmed."

"Okay."

"I'll talk to you soon, son."

"Talk to you later."

There was click and Charlie was gone. I turned to Alice who seemed to be vibrating with happiness.

"He's coming to visit," she asked animatedly.

I nodded my head as a hint of a smile spread across my face.

"Jasper, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!"

She then lunged at me and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me close. I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed tightly.

"I would have never done this if it hadn't been for you, Alice. Thank you."

She pulled back and smiled as her eyes seemed to dance.

"You're very welcome, sweetie. I'm just glad you're getting this opportunity to reconnect with Charlie. I'm sure he's ecstatic."

"Yeah, he seemed pretty excited. I don't think he's ever been here before, so I'm sure he's excited about that too."

"Oh Jasper, that's so great!"

She pulled me close again and I inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of her hair and faint perfume. Exhaling slowly, I nuzzled her neck and hummed.

"Alice, I don't know what I would do…"

Immediately I stopped myself.

_What the hell are you doing, man! Get a hold of yourself and just be grateful to her._

She pulled back and lightly pressed her hand against my cheek. I sighed at the tenderness behind her touch and seared it into my memory. It was rare for anyone to show me that kind of tenderness, so I had to take advantage when I could.

"You don't have to thank me, Jasper. It was my pleasure."

She slowly leaned in and gently pressed her lips against mine. It obviously wasn't the first time we'd kissed, but for some reason, this felt different. Maybe it was my vulnerability or maybe I was just more open to affection from her. Who knows? What I did know was that I didn't want that kiss to end.

Snaking my hand around the back of her neck, I gently, but firmly, held her in place as I slowly explored her mouth. She showed no resistance and I welcomed the ease with which we seemed to come together. It almost seemed too easy and too good to be true, but I refused to let those thoughts ruin a good thing. I seemed to be having a string of good luck and just wanted to enjoy the beautiful woman in front of me. Her soft moans and whimpers were quickly pushing me to a complete loss of control and soon my mind would shut off and my body would take over. I knew she probably wasn't ready for that, so I begrudgingly pulled away and rested my forehead against hers.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"You're welcome."

_x~x~x~x~x~x~x_

Over the next week I stressed over the arrival of Charlie. He'd called the day after I first spoke to him with his flight information and how long he'd be staying. He was going to be in the city for about five days and in that time we would catch up and see a few of the sights. It was during that conversation that he also informed me about the new woman in his life. I couldn't help the brief flash of anger that rose in my throat when he spoke about this new lady friend, Sue. Of course I was fiercely loyal to the happy marriage he had with Renee, but I also had to remember that Renee was gone and Charlie had every right to be happy. I couldn't help but feel relieved when he said she would not be joining him, but he couldn't wait for me to meet her. I agreed. I had nothing against the woman and she seemed to make him happy.

After talking to Alice one evening on the phone, I convinced her to meet Charlie as well. I wanted him to meet the person who encouraged our reunion. I was sure he'd love her. Who wouldn't? During our conversation, Alice suggested Charlie meet my other friends.

"What other friends?" I asked, surprised.

"Jasper, you know who I'm talking about."

Unfortunately, I did. I hadn't seen or heard from Edward in over a week. Part of me was upset that he hadn't knocked on my door and bugged the shit out of me, but when I thought about it, I realized he was just doing what I told him to do: leaving me the fuck alone. I'd be even more of a fool to say that I didn't miss having him around.

"I don't know what to say to him, Alice."

"Hmmm. Where have I heard that before?"

"Yeah, yeah. This is different."

"Not really, but I think it's time you two worked things out. He may try to act like it's not a big deal, but I can see that your fight really upset him."

"As if I didn't feel guilty enough."

"This isn't about guilt, Jasper. It's about taking care of and appreciating your friendship. You two falling out like this, especially over something so trivial, is a shame. He was just trying to help, you know."

I sighed. "Yes, I know. I guess I'll have to be the bigger man and talk to him. Hell, if things work out then I can hold it over his head for a while."

"Whatever it takes," she said with a giggle.

The next afternoon I found myself knocking on Edward's door. I could hear music playing in the apartment, so I figured he was home. I knocked again, but still no one answered.

_Where the fuck is he?_

I knocked one more time; well, actually I balled my hand into a fist and pounded on the door. If he didn't answer this time, fuck it, we weren't going to talk.

Just when I was about to walk away, the door flew open. The two of us looked at each other for a few seconds before he spoke.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you. Can I?"

He narrowed his eyes, sighed and motioned with his head for me to come in. As I sat down on the couch, he turned off the stereo and sat in his recliner.

"So talk."

"Um, I wanted to tell you that I contacted my adopted Dad the other day and he's coming for a visit."

"That's nice," he said with a faint, but disappointed smile.

"Yeah, he'll be here next week. We're going to catch up and do all kinds of touristy shit since he's never been here."

He just stared as if I were speaking gibberish.

"And…well, I wanted him to meet some of my friends and wondered if you and maybe Angie would like to join Alice, Charlie and me one afternoon while we're sightseeing."

Edward laughed sarcastically. "Friends? Since when do _you_ have friends? Last I heard, you didn't need or want them."

"I know what I said."

"Then what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Shit, if you'd let me finish, asshole, I could explain."

"Whatever."

"Oh, so you're going to pout like a little pussy now?"

"Fuck you, Jasper."

"No, fuck you."

I stood to leave and headed for the door.

"You've got balls coming into _my_ apartment to talk and then insulting me because I don't react the way _you_ want me to. It doesn't that way, you prick. People don't treat friends the way you do."

I spun on my heel and faced him. Part of me wanted to take a running leap and pummel his face, but the other part of me, the part that missed having a real friend, took a few breaths and calmed down.

"You're right," I mumbled.

Shocked, Edward stood. "What?"

"I said you're right. I shouldn't have said that shit to you because I didn't mean it. I was just freaking out over a bad memory that resurfaced and instead of just telling you about it, I told you to fuck off. Like you said, friends don't treat each other like that. I understand now that you were just trying to help."

"I was."

"As much as I don't want to admit it, I hate not having your ugly mug hanging around."

That got a laugh out of him. I could tell he was trying to hold it in, but Edward was never one for squelching his laughter. I should know. It's gotten us into plenty of awkward situations.

I walked back towards him in the living room.

"What I'm trying to say is I'm sorry for what happened at the bowling alley and I didn't mean any of it."

Edward smiled as if I'd just told him he was the King sex god. It was all big with teeth blazing. I never noticed it before, but his canines looked vaguely like vampire fangs.

_Of course! That's why he's so weird. He's a day-walking creature of the night. _

Unable to keep the image of Edward prancing around hiding half of his face behind a black cape, I chuckled to myself.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Nothing. I was just imagining you as a vampire."

"Why the fuck would you think that?"

"Have you ever looked at your teeth? You damn near have fangs."

"Yeah, well, Ang doesn't mind. She says it adds to my mystique. I personally think she's been watching too many of those stupid vampire movies and tv shows and they've warped her mind, but at the same time, it's just another of my wonderful attributes that she can't resist. I'm surprised she hasn't fainted from my sexiness."

I nearly doubled over in laughter then.

"You are such a fucking geek, do you know that?"

"Laugh all you want, asshole. I speak the truth."

And just like that Edward and I were back to normal. We continued to take the piss out of each other and it seemed like the past week never happened.

"So will you and Angie meet my Dad?"

"Sure! It'll be fun!"

"Cool."

It seemed like everything was falling into place and things were…normal. I wanted to enjoy the feeling of peace for a while, but I knew it was only a matter of time before the other shoe dropped and I was right back to what I'd grown accustomed to for most of my life: pain, regret and disappointment. I just hoped things worked out in my goddamn favor for once.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I do not own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Happy Anniversary! I can't believe I started I'm Not the One a year ago today. It seems like so long ago, but at the same time it feels like time has flown by! INtO was only the second story I'd ever written and now, a year later, I've written a total eight stories (with more in the works)!**

**I don't want to delay the chapter any longer than necessary, so I'll let you get to it! lol Thank you so, so much for your support of this story!**

**Oh, this chapter is unbeta'd. I wanted to get it out to you all as soon as possible, so please forgive any typos that may have slipped through. :)**

* * *

"Is his flight delayed," Edward asked as we stood in the arrivals area at JFK.

"No, according to the arrivals sign, his plane landed 30 minutes ago."

_Where the hell could he be?_

Charlie was officially here, but hadn't emerged from the masses of people hugging, talking and greeting each other. Edward gave me a ride to the airport so we wouldn't' have to take a cab back in the city. I didn't even know Edward had a car until he offered me the ride last night.

_o~o~o~o~o~o~o_

"Yeah, I have a car. I just keep it parked in a friend's garage. There's no reason for me to drive it in the city, and I'm not going to get rid of it, so my buddy was nice enough to keep it for me."

"Man, you learn something new everyday."

Edward smirked and popped his imaginary collar.

"I know, man. I'm the shit."

I rolled my eyes and punched him in the arm.

"Yeah, a shitload of corniness."

_o~o~o~o~o~o~o_

Looking at my watch once again, I started to worry that Charlie may have missed his plane. Part of me hoped that was the case instead of him just deciding not to come, but he would have called if he missed his flight.

I turned to Edward and furrowed my brow. He looked at me and, in a rare moment, was completely serious for once. He looked just as worried as I did.

"What if he decided not come?"

Edward quickly tried to alleviate my fears.

"Jasper, you told me he was really excited to visit. Why would he just ditch you like that? From what you've told me, that's not the kind of man he is."

"But all the pain and worry I caused him… What if he decided it was better for me just to stay out of his life?"

Edward grabbed my shoulders and shook me.

"Jasper! Get a grip! You know that's bullshit! Just calm down and give him a call. He's probably just caught up at the baggage claim or stuck behind some old lady trying to get off the plane. Everything will be fine."

I blinked my eyes and few times and nodded my head. Pulling out my phone, I dialed his number and listened to it ring a few times before his voicemail kicked in.

"Fuck! He's not answering."

"Okay," Edward started, "we'll wait here a while longer and if he doesn't show up, give him another call. We'll track him down, Jasper. Don't worry."

I smiled meekly, thankful that Edward was here with me. If I'd been by myself I probably would have bolted by now. Also, I was glad to have him there to help buffer the inevitable awkwardness between me and Charlie.

Just when I was about to look at my watch again, I heard someone call my name from behind.

"Jasper?"

I quickly turned around and there stood Charlie. He looked exactly the same. Well, he had a little more gray at his temples and there were a few more wrinkles around his eyes, but he was just the same.

"Charlie," I said with a smile.

He tentatively walked closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. At first I felt weird, but then an overwhelming sense of relief overtook me and I hugged him back. I mean, _really_ hugged him.

When he pulled back, his eyes were glassy and I had to clench my jaw in an effort to control my own emotions.

"I'm so happy to see you, son!"

"I'm glad you could make it. I was worried for a while because you're plane landed almost 40 minutes ago."

"Yeah, it took forever to get off the plane and then another eternity to grab my suitcase from the baggage claim. I knew I shouldn't have checked it."

"Jasper here was about ready to blow a gasket," Edward exclaimed while I groaned and shook my head.

"Um, Charlie, this is my dumba-, I mean dork of a friend, Edward."

Edward extended his hand and Charlie shook it happily.

"Nice to meet you, Edward."

"Nice to meet you, too! I'm so glad you finally showed. I thought Jasper was going to sit down and cry like a girl in a couple of minutes."

I quickly punched him in the gut, causing him to slightly double over and hold his stomach.

"He's such a jokester…who's going to get his ass kicked." I said the last part quiet enough that only Edward heard me, but he just smirked smugly.

Charlie looked back and forth between the two of us and laughed.

"You two remind me of me and buddy Carlisle when we were around your age. We used to get into so much trouble!"

"See," Edward chimed in, "Jasper seems to think I'm a nuisance, but he'd be lost without me."

"Whatever, man. You're a jerk off and a freak."

"But you love me anyway! Don't ya, sweetie?"

Edward wrapped his arm around my neck and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. Before his lips made contact, and I really did blow a gasket, I pushed him away as he laughed so hard he had to sit on a nearby to catch his breath.

I looked at Charlie apologetically as he continued to laugh.

"So much like me and Carl it's scary."

"Yeah, well, why don't we get out of here," I asked in an effort to get out of the crowded airport and away from Edward's teasing.

"Sure, let's go," Charlie said. "I'm anxious to see your apartment and check out the city!"

As we walked to the car, I explained to Charlie how Edward and I met and that we live a few doors down from each other. Soon we were on the road and back into the city. The drive seemed to fly by as we both answered Charlie's questions about where we worked, what sort of trouble we get into in the city and what we'd be doing during his visit.

x~x~x~x~x~x~x

Edward dropped Charlie and me off at the apartment and went to go park his car and spend time with Angie. I was a little nervous because I'd been using Edward as a buffer for any sort of weirdness, but now that it was officially just me and Charlie, my nerves returned.

As we walked into my apartment, I apologized for it being a little cramped, but Charlie just brushed it off saying he understood that apartments in New York were small. He was happy to be here and spend time with me.

I'd be an ass if I didn't admit his words made me feel good inside. I gave Charlie a quick tour and asked him what he wanted to do first. It was still pretty early in the afternoon, so we still had a good portion of the day ahead of us.

"Well, I was thinking maybe we could just order something to eat and talk for a while."

_Oh shit._

"Uh, okay."

Charlie moved to the couch and sat down.

"So, what have you been up to?"

"I told you all that in the car. I work at a bar and make pretty good money. Other than that, I pretty much keep to myself. Edward and I hang out, but I don't really have too many other friends."

"Anyone special in your life?"

I knew my face probably turned five shades of red and I wished the floor would just swallow me so I could disappear.

"Um…well…I…uh"

Charlie laughed and cut in, putting me out of my misery.

"It's okay, Jasper. I won't pry."

I nodded my head, relieved, and sat on the other side of the couch.

"You said you don't have many friends. Why is that?"

_God, I guess we're not going to pussyfoot around the serious questions, are we?_

"Because it's easier to keep people at a distance."

Charlie nodded his head as if what I was saying was common knowledge and the most normal thing in the world.

"I can't help but feel a responsible for that, Jasper."

Flabbergasted, I looked at him confused.

"Why the hell would you think that?"

"Because if I hadn't pushed you away after Renee's death, you may not feel the need to do the same."

Sighing, I ran my hand through my hair.

"Charlie, I'll admit that our…well, Renee's death definitely put a damper on our relationship, but it's not your fault that I don't like people. It may have contributed to it slightly, but it wasn't the reason."

"Even so, Jasper, the fact that my actions helped in making you not want to get close to people turns my stomach."

"It was my biological mom and step dad who did this to me, not you. _They_ treated me like I was dirt and wasn't worth their time. _They're _the ones who abused me and thought it was funny to hurt a child. _They're_ the ones who taught me not to trust people because they'll always stab you in the back eventually."

Charlie closed his eyes and shook his head. I knew this was hard for him to hear, but he needed this just as much as I did. I was never comfortable enough or even mentally prepared to tell him all of this when I was younger, and I didn't want him to think that his actions made me the person I am today. If anything, he and Renee saved me. I may be one fucked up individual now, but if they hadn't come into my life, I'd either be in jail or dead.

I spoke softly, "You and Renee saved me. I was in a very dark place when you two took me in. I know I wasn't the easiest person to live with, and I know I didn't show it, but I was so happy to be living with you; two people who loved each other and me as if were their very own. I knew neither of you would ever do something to intentionally hurt me. I can't say that about the woman who gave birth to me, or the men she chose to bring into her and my life who treated me even worse. I was just a burden, but with you, I was…wanted and loved."

I looked over at Charlie and his eyes looked like glass; tears on the fringe of falling.

"Jasper, I-I had no idea. We knew you had a rough time with your parents, but we never knew the extent of it."

"Please don't call those people my parents, Charlie. They were anything but. You and Renee are my parents."

"Son, I'm so sorry for how I acted. I was grieving and never, ever meant to take out my pain on you. I feel as though my actions somehow made you feel rejected again and I hope you'll forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive. I'll admit that your words stung, but it was mostly my pride that didn't allow me to listen to you or see you when you came to Peter's house looking for me. I guess I figured that without me there you could deal with your loss better."

"But that's where you're wrong, Jasper. I needed you more than ever at that time. I'd just lost my wife, the love of my life, and I needed my son to help me get through that rough time. Instead, I pushed you away, which, in turn, caused you to push me and others away."

I couldn't really argue with his theory, so I just nodded my head in agreement.

"Looks like we really made a mess of things, didn't we," he asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Yeah, I guess we did."

"So what made you decide to call me after all this time."

I sighed and rubbed my hand against the back of my neck trying to figure out how to best explain what was going on in my life at the time.

"Well, I'd basically just told Edward to fuck off and that I didn't need him or anyone else in my life. Like I said, he's pretty much the only friend I have and I exploded and said some really shitty things to him when he was trying to help me."

"Why was he trying to help?"

I really didn't want to have to tell him about my flashback at the bowling alley, but I couldn't lie.

"Um, we were bowling and I suddenly had a flashback of the fight you and I had and almost had a panic attack. He ran after me asking me what was wrong and I told him to basically leave me the fuck alone and he did. He stopped talking to me for a week. I thought he'd just burst into my apartment one day and pretend nothing happened, but that wasn't the case."

Charlie listened intently as I continued.

"If it wasn't for Alice, I'd probably still have my head up my ass and mad at the world."

"Alice? Who's Alice?"

At the sound of her name, a smile slowly crept across my face.

"She's the person who convinced me to make things right with Edward and contact you."

"Really? She must be one hell of a woman."

My face heated as I thought about just how great she is…and how great he lips felt against mine.

"Yeah. You'll meet her in a day or two."

"Great! I want to shake this gal's hand."

Laughing at Charlie's usage of the word 'gal' in 2011, I was caught off guard when I felt him pull me in for hug.

"Thank you for allowing me into your life again. I've missed my son."

"I've missed you too, Dad."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I do not own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

**Charlie's POV**

I couldn't believe my eyes. After all these years I was finally standing so close to my son. He had his back to me and I watched as he looked back and forth trying to find me. Every once in a while he would say something to the guy standing next him, who I assumed was his friend.

Unable to wait any longer, I said his name and he immediately turned. There are no words to describe the joy I felt at seeing my son, tall, strong and healthy, standing before me. He smiled as I slowly walked towards him and gave him a hug. I wasn't sure if he even wanted it, but he didn't push me away, so I figured that was a good sign. When I felt his arms wrap themselves even tighter around me, my emotions overwhelmed me. I struggled to hold back my tears as we pulled away and I could tell he was doing the same.

After some small talk, Jasper introduced me to his friend, Edward. He seemed like a happy fella who loved to joke around with Jasper and tease him nonstop. I couldn't help but chuckle at them as they 'fought'. They reminded me so much of myself and my best friend Carlisle, and I told them so.

Carl and I had been friends forever. His family was extremely strict, religious and wealthy. We became instant friends and I think his parents were fine with me hanging out with their son because I came from a "good, Christian home." Yeah, my parents went to church every Sunday, and gave their tithes and offerings, but they were nowhere near as fanatical as Carl's parents. I guess my folks passed their test because other kids and their families weren't as lucky.

In our teens and early twenties, Carl and I got into all kinds of shenanigans. Fortunately, we never got into any real trouble, but we sure had a hell of a lot fun. I think Carl did a lot of those crazy things as a way to rebel against his strict upbringing. His family never allowed him to do anything. He had to come over to my house to watch TV or go to the movies. I found it amazing that Carl ended up being almost the complete opposite of his parents. He didn't adopt their narrow-minded views and was the most compassionate human being I'd ever encountered.

When we went to college, we were roommates, and Carl thought he'd died and gone to heaven. He could do whatever he wanted and took full advantage of his new freedom. While he had a rebellious streak, he never did anything too dangerous. He rarely drank alcohol and never touched drugs. He had dreams of becoming a doctor and didn't want anything to impede his goals. I really admired him for that. My goals may not have been as lofty as Carl's, but his persistence and determination encouraged me to follow my dreams, earning a business degree and starting one of the most successful construction/general contracting businesses in the area.

Carl is now the Chief of Surgery at the local hospital. He moved across country for several years while he built his career and I missed him something awful. I had plenty of other friends, but Carl was like a brother to me and not having him around was like trying to function without an arm or a leg. When he called to tell me he and his family were moving back, I hooted and hollered into the phone.

During his time away, Carl met his sweetheart of a wife, Esme, and had two kids, a boy and a girl. When Jasper came into our lives, I'd hoped that he'd be friends with Carl's kids, but they attended a private school and didn't have many opportunities to interact with him. Besides, Jasper always kept to himself, only having one really close friend, Peter. It seemed like some things never change, but I was glad Jasper had Edward. They seemed to keep each other in line and Jasper needed a good, stable friend in his life.

I don't know what I would have done without Carl's support after Renee's death and Jasper's leaving. He spent countless hours talking to me, supporting me and just being an overall great friend. He and Esme had me over for dinner more times than I could count, and that first Christmas without Renee or Jasper was made just a little bit more bearable because I spent it with his family. They are some incredible people and I'd do anything for them.

Once Edward dropped us off at Jasper's apartment, I excitedly entered the building. I couldn't wait to see how my boy had been living here in the big city. As he opened the door, he apologized for the apartment's small size. As I looked around, I did notice that it was small, but it looked clean and dry, so I couldn't really complain. He gave me a quick tour and said I could sleep in his room while he took the couch. I was going to tell him that wasn't necessary, but he held up his hand and shook his head before I even had a chance.

Since it was still pretty early in the day, Jasper asked me what I wanted to do. I hadn't seen him in such a long time, so all I wanted to do was I just sit, talk and spend time together. He seemed a little uneasy at first, but once we got started, he was fine. That's not to say that the subject matter wasn't heavy because it was…very. He finally revealed to me what his biological mother and stepfather did to him as a child and I'd never felt such anger in my life. To know that those two sorry excuses for human beings hurt my boy like that made me want to hunt them down and shoot them dead in the street. Jasper said he was much better off without them and that he didn't consider them his parents; Renee and I were his parents. Fighting back the tears, I apologized to him for the way I acted and that I'd contributed to his inability to get close to people.

As he explained what made him call me, I cringed. He told me that he'd suddenly had a flashback to that terrible night he left and ended up lashing out at Edward, almost losing him as a friend. I hated that my actions so many years ago affected him so deeply, but when he told me about his other friend, Alice, I noticed a light in his eyes that I'd never seen before. The way he spoke about her, explaining she was the reason behind his reconciliation with Edward and his calling me, I knew I had to meet this young lady. Fortunately, I wouldn't have to wait too long.

We spent the rest of the evening talking, watching DVDs and eating the best pizza I'd ever had. There were restaurants back at home that claimed to serve 'New York-style pizza', but this was the real deal and I didn't think I could ever go back to eating those poor imitations when I returned home.

_x~x~x~x~x~x~x_

The next day I found myself on a subway train talking to Jasper, Edward and his girlfriend, Angela. We were on our way to meet Alice in Times Square and the kids were going to take me on a tour of the city. Edward and Angela looked like the picture perfect couple. I don't know what that little girl did, but in her presence Edward turned into the kindest, gentlest man; a stark contrast to the silly, slightly obnoxious character he was when he was around Jasper. He and Angela seemed to balance each other. Where she tended to be shy, he was outgoing and encouraged her to more extroverted. Conversely, Angela's calming qualities helped mellow Edward's rambunctiousness. They seemed to be a great match.

Even though Jasper wouldn't reveal too much about Alice, I had a feeling she was pretty special to him. Like any good father, I hoped Jasper would find love and live happily ever after. Given Jasper's history and personality, I wasn't sure if things would turn out quite so fairy tale-like, but I still wanted him to find that special someone to share his life.

When we finally arrived in Times Square, I experienced sensory overload! Hundreds of people bustled past me, lights flashed and car horns honked. It was almost too much to take. Granted, I didn't live in a small town, but this, Times Square, was enough to make you long for quiet country living.

As we fought our way through the throngs of people, Jasper led all of us to the front of a building - I later found it's where the MTV studios are located. He immediately walked up to a petite young woman and wrapped his arms around her. I couldn't help but 'aww'. It was so gratifying to see Jasper like this. When he pulled away from her, he turned and pointed towards me. When my eyes met with Alice's, I froze.

"Dad, this is Alice…"

"Yes, I know," I answered.

Alice looked up at me and smiled brightly.

"Charlie! It's great to see you again!"

She ran towards me and threw her arms around my neck, squeezing hard. I looked at Jasper who looked as confused as ever.

"It's great to see you too. Small world!"

Letting her go, she stood in front of me and continued to smile.

"Isn't it? I can't believe _you're_ Charlie…Jasper's dad!"

"Um, can someone please tell me what the hell is going on here," Jasper shouted.

Alice and I turned to him and noticed his face had changed from confusion to ever-increasing anger with each passing second.

"Son, remember when I told you about my best friend, Carl?"

He nodded his head.

"Well, this is his little girl, Alice!"

"What?"

"Yeah, I've known Alice most of her life! I knew she moved to New York after college, but I can't believe this is _your_ Alice!"

I began to worry a bit when Jasper didn't respond. He just stood in front of us straight-faced and calm. His demeanor scared me because if he had been screaming and angry, we'd at least know what he was feeling. This mask he was now wearing completely hid his emotions. I couldn't tell if he was happy, mad, scared or what.

He looked back and forth between Alice and me and narrowed his eyes.

"Was this all some sort of plan the two of you pulled together?"

Confused, I immediately answered.

"Not at all, Jasper. This is just a coincidence."

"Are you sure?" he said, now looking at Alice.

"Of course, Jasper! I had no idea Charlie was your dad."

"Why didn't I ever meet Alice when I lived with you?" he said at me.

"Well, Alice and her older brother, Emmett, went to a private school and you didn't seem too keen on meeting new kids. I didn't want to overwhelm you or make you feel like you had to make friends. You had your good buddy, Peter, and I just didn't want to push, Jasper."

As the words left my mouth, I started to get more and more nervous. Jasper was displaying his usual 'I don't trust you' attitude. His arms were crossed over his chest and his posture was very defensive. After our conversation yesterday, I thought we'd taken a big step in the right direction, but he was still so distrustful. What hurt even more was that he was distrustful of me and Alice, two people who were only looking out for his best interests.

"I-I just don't want to be manipulated. I feel so stupid."

Alice walked closer to him and laid her hand on his arm. He looked down at her with a mixture of shame, disgust and resignation on his face. I don't think he was disgusted with her at all, though. He was disgusted with himself.

"Jasper, you're not stupid and no one manipulated you. Daddy and Charlie have been friends since they were kids and it's just coincidence that we're all here today. It's fate! I promise you that neither Charlie nor I planned this. We just want you to be happy, Jas, remember that."

He nodded his head reluctantly and looked back and forth between us. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and stood still for a moment. When he opened his eyes, all anger and skepticism were gone. He smiled and I think Alice, Edward and I all breathed huge sighs of relief.


End file.
